Mr. Lugubrious

Climb Aboard

2011-05-31T23:52:00.001-04:00

He's Got The Right Idea

2010-10-17T09:02:00.002-04:00

Orange

2010-07-22T23:54:00.005-04:00

Somehow, he's "more" orange now that we've moved to the west.
Maybe it's the angle of the sun??

I suppose I could have photoshopped the glowing
eyes....but this is how they really looked. Oh - and the
neighbours seem frightened by his size. :)

Is Anyone Out There?

2010-03-26T17:06:00.002-04:00

I haven't posted in a long time, yet a couple of people
actually left comments (thanks!).

The question is, should I continue to post things
here? Will anyone see it?

Do I have anything to say?? (OK, maybe DON'T answer
that one) . . .

The End of "Plate!....D'OH!!!"

2009-10-14T17:54:00.006-04:00

Way back when I started this blog, I wrote a short
rant about people in my state who complain about
even the slightest fee BUT are just fine with giving
the registry extra money for a vanity plate.

Honestly, you can't drive a tenth of a mile without
seeing someone's "meaningful statement" that they
just HAD to share with the rest of us.

I started jotting them down....the little scraps of paper
piled up.....so now I'm dumping them all right here
and trying to stop looking at licence plates altogether.

Along the way, I inserted some comments on the scraps
of paper, so I included them here. I know, some of my
comments are just as dumb as some of the plates.....whatever.

Feel free to chime in if you have a comment about one of the
plates you see here. Would YOU give the registry of motor
vehicles extra cash so your car could wear one of these??

1ADAM12 (can you say "issues"?)
1FASTGT
1STGOD
1YORKEY
2BZBOYS
2CORGIS (never forget the important connection between driving and how many dogs you own)
2CRAZY (yeah, these are just the kind of people you want on a motorcycle!)
2DABOWL (when you've gotta go, you've gotta go)
2DAXTRM (it's extreme, alright..)
2-DIVE
2DMNBZ
2EVL4U (keep dreamin')
2HT4U
2QK4U
2RUNNRS (yet, ironically, they're driving)
2SHEPDS
2SICK
2SPOYLD (yes, they wouldn't even question your dubious spelling)
2STORKS
2SWEET (I really doubt it)
2THTEC
3JGALS (good for J! but from a distance the "3" can be mistaken for a "B"....maybe even better for J.)
3SENUF
3-4-HIM
3&3JR
4-ABBY
4ANGELS
4-BOYZ
4BZ1GRL
4DBRAT (and she's willing to put up with this plate to have the car!)
4ESPRT
4EVRD
4EVRFAM (yup, nothin' you can do about it)
4G1RLS
4GIVN
4GRKDS
4GUNS (the OTHER licence plate on the car was a NH House of Representatives plate!!!)
4HOOVS
4KRACIN
4MYLOVE (kiss-ass!!!)
4N6PNY
4-OFUS
4PEANUT
4SAINTS
4-TEES
4TH-QTR
4TRADES
4U2C
4U2DCY4 (thanks for spending the extra money on the plate to give me a puzzle!)
4WHELIN
5BLVRS
5FREDS (this family must be like George Foreman's)
5NIETOS
5STONES
747CPT
7-MAX (this is probably to remind him when to stop drinking before driving)
95MAX (I know, I can read the model)
96CLSIC
A-2-Z (thorough)
AA1AM (be glad you're not THIS guy's sponsor!)
ACCURA
ACILOM (I'm betting this guy's last name is "Molica"...)
ACT-I-
ACT-ONE (hmmm.....)
ACURA3
ADDIOS (are you late for your spelling lesson?)
A+B-417 (it's an algebra test!)
A-GR81 (are you?)
A-M
AIDA
AIRCQQL
ALEAFS
ALKONIS
ALL4KMT
ALLEYZ
ALLURE
ALOHAS
ALWSL8
ANDY-T
ANGIKIM
ANTIK (VW - it didn't look antique, so I guess it's involved in antics..but someone beat it there)
ANXITY ("Where's my 'E'?? Where's my f*ckin' 'E'?!?!")
APE (I'm actually related to THIS guy - by marriage!)
APLJCK (Cinnamon toasty, I'm sure)
A PUPPET (Florida!!! How apropos!)
ARRGH (that's what it feels like to be driving behind you, pal)
ART-ED
ARTZGRL
ASAUMP
ASKME-Y
ATHNS04
AV8TA
AWAY2ME
AWESUM
BABOON
BADNANA
BADTBRD
BADTZ
BAIT
BAK2OZ
BALARK
BARISAX
BATRUP
BBSHOPR
BCB-DX
BCNUL8R
BCOMEU (who else could I be?)
BCRUSH
BDRLGN (YES! It is!!! ...oh, wait, I bet they mean the BAND)
BEATLEJ
BEATLZ
BECUZZ
BEEBLU
BEENO
BEEZLY (where's Buffy 'n' Jody?)
BELEVE- (I'm with you there!!)
BEMA-86 (the worst of a NE accent at work)
BIGBADV
BIGDDY
BIGPOND
BIGRED3
BILL-ME
BINKS (I HOPE this woman's name is Bianca...otherwise...)
BINX (I see a trend...)
BIZMARK
BKMDANO
BLACULA
BLARNY
BLEEVE
BLESST
BLKSSEI
BLRJJD
BLT
BLUBY-U
BLUE2U
BLUEROO
BLUFSH
BLUWTR
BMBSQD (a sure-fire way to draw the attention of the authorities, these days)
B-M-W
BOATNH (wonder if these two run into each other?)
BOBREN
BOO-BE
BOO&YAH
BOUNCE
BPRAYN
BRIZZLE
BRNSBG (do I see an insurance-driven "accident" in this VW's future??)
BROOKIE
BRUWNS (..don't tell me this is "Bruins"..ugh)
BSKTS&
BSKTNT
BSMOM
BUBALU
BUDMAN
BUGAWK
BUGLVR
BUSYBEE (but it was silver, not yellow)
BUYER1 (hey, I don't even know her....you buy it!)
CADJAC
CAH (MA...of course)
CAJUN1
CA-KID
CAN8IAN
CANDLE+
CARPDEM
CASCAT (pet cemetary owner?)
CATALNA (on a Volvo 960..???)
CAVEMAN
CCMYHRT (Dear Stranger: We don't care.....cc: your heart)
CEPHAS (sadly, in NH this is probably the guy's name...where's Wiggins?)
CHASER (MA plate)
CHEESE (the frightening part is, the car was puke green)
CHGD (charged? changed? from what? into what?)
CHIMAI
CHIMMY
CHN-UP (fitness nut or motivational speaker?)
CHKITA (this one IS yellow....get it??)
CHKM8
CHKOUT (some people just HAVE to brag about their job's social status)
CHLWLY (she said, as she jumped out of bed...)
CHOMP
CHOPPED
CHOWALV
CHOWS
CHRYNTP (guess he likes 'em young)
CHUY
CINDY- (self-esteem issue)
CIN-MAN
CLBR8TN
CMONKYS
CNUKPUP
COGIT8 (let's ponder the meaning of this plate!)
COOLEY
COOLVET
CRAIG0 (self-esteem issue)
CRIT-R
C-RYDER
CROZIE
CTLZGRL
CURTIE
CUZISED
CYAL8TR
CYNAMN
CZYCAKE
CZYGRL (they don't usually give you this much warning..)
CU84 (You're very late for your appointment)
CYCLOX (from the land of one-eyed clocks)
C-ANGEL
C+M+L
DACK
DAKIDZ
DANSR (Dan Senior, or a dancer who can't spell?)
DANTS (Is it Dan T's car or another dancer who cant spell?)
DAWEEZ
D-COURT
DEBEST
DEBRAY (specializing in donkey vocal cord removal)
DEER-IS
DERNZ1 (always good to know it's the original Dernz and not a cheap imitation)
DESIGN-
DESIRE
DEVLDG
DEVLWMN (this plate probably gets her more dates than it scares off!)
DEWAR
DOGTALK
DONNER
DOOWOPR
DPREST
DRFTDOG
DRIFLI
DRYFLI
DR-H20 (I'll take mine undoctored, thanks)
DURFEE
D-FROG
DI-P ('DIP' must have been taken, but the nickname was SO important....)
D-REK (Derek? Direct? The wreck?)
D+D&3
DR+EVIL
EDGEY (AND a bad speller! But don't mention it....)
EHDZN
EMATTS
E-MONO
EMOTE
ENGAGE+
ENJOI
ENTHUZD (oh, me too....thanks for sharing)
ERRAND
ETOH
EVACU8 (I was thinking this was the nurse who gives enemas..?)
EVL2IN
EZ-BLUE
FABULOS (yeah, that's great...)
FAITH-
FAMILY- (sorry for your loss)
FEALTY (talk about an ass-kisser)
FEAST
FINNANA (maybe they bought the truck with Nana's life insurance payoff?)
FINZUP (wouldn't that mean the fish was dead?)
FIZ-ED
FLG8RS
FLKART (Calista would be so proud)
FLMNTE
FLUTEL
FLY2SKY
FLY4KIX
FOLKY
FOOTOP
FOXY
FROMLA
FROSTE
FYRBALL
G8TORS
GABBER
GAWDES
GDRAKE (a good rake beats a bad hoe....well, wait a minute...)
GDSPED (do NOT drive near someone on a mission with this motto!)
GDSMK (Godsmack, or good smoke??)
GDSWAY
GEESE-
GERAFF
GETUFIT
GHOSTI
GIDYUP
GIRGNIS
GLAMRU
GLORY+ (another car to avoid - he's going for the glory, and then some)
GNFISN
GO2GOAL
GOBUKII (go Buckeyes....I get it...)
GOCUBS (talk about faith!!)
GODYME
GODZJOY
GOGOBOX
GHOREEK
GOLDYLX
GOLTNDR
GONE-ZO
GONFLYN
GOODLY
GOODY (gosh, how neato)
GOPLAY
GORACN (sure, but you drag ass in front of my car...)
GOTA-GO
GOTO-GO (yes, you need to "go" in order to go)
GOTWNGS
GR8FL (me, too, when you finally got out of my way)
GR8MOM
GR8+FUN
GRAMBO (will they NEVER stop making these sequels??)
GRHORNT (what? no Kato?)
GRNHRNT
GROCKS
GRTNGS (yeah, hi....now move)
GRUM&P (I guess GRUMPY and GRUM-P were taken)
GTARUN
GTDANE (I am my dog)
GT-HEMI
GUBBA-1
GUMPA
GYMMOM
HA82BL8
HALAH
HAMBURG
HAMR&W8
HNDSOFF
HAPINES (just a pee and an s away)
HARM
HARPO (the Marx brother, or Oprah's production company?)
HAVNGFN
HELOCTY
HEYBOY (this is a very frightening plate considering the guy who was driving)
HG2 (Will have to wait for the low-number license lottery to get that coveted "HG1".)
HIBOOST
HIYALL
HIZGRL
HLMRK
HLFRICH
HLYCOW
HLYSMK
HLYWOD
HOCKIE
HOLMSY (Is EVERY person named "Holmes" necessarily a "Holmsy"???)
HONDER
HONDUH (is it the car that's stupid, or its owner?)
HOSTILE (expect road rage)
HOWL
HOZHO1
HPCMPR (how good for you)
HRSNRND (quit your horsing around and drive)
HSNOMAN (should hook up with NOWIFE)
HTRMGR (Hooter's manager)
HUGFUN
HUNNY
HUNT-1 (one what?)
HUNTTOY (...oh, now I see...)
HURIKN
HVNSNT
HVYMETL
HYE-ES
IAMIAN
IBBY
ICESK8 (MA plate)
ICPKMK
IFLTWR (in NH? This guy's REALLY lost!)
IGOTIT (MA)
ILIAD&
ILUVYOU
ILVCOWS (TOO much info!)
ILVLAMP
IMADORK
IMIGHT
IMLVNIT
IMPLSV (obviously)
IMQLFYN
INERT (shh...the transmission will hear you!)
INLUV
INSECT
INTHYME
INVST+
ISTME
I-OK (says you, pal)
IPAY
IRNSDS (I don't want to know how they discovered this)
ISSUES
ITSMOI (who else could it be?)
ITSPAT
ITWZME (nah, sorry, you're too eager to admit it)
IZAP-U
JAN-IS (she is?)
JANGRL (so we'll remember your birthday?)
JAWS75 (wow....is this a 'shark' version of a 'Star Wars' dork??)
JEALOUS
JENNEX
JENSTOY
JESUS-
JIGGY2
JJSCAR
J-L-M
J-O-Y
JR-SR (is that the age between 50 and 62?)
JST42DY
JST4FUN
JST4SUN (nice to have cars for every occasion)
JSYOYO (J's way of saying "yo yo", or is the car a yoyo?)
JUN698 (that was my father's 65th birthday...nice of this total stranger to commemorate it)
JUSBCUZ
JUSTBE (I will, thanks...)
JUSTEPH
JUSWNK
KALEXIS
KARA-J
KAY-TEE
KEWEST (damned Parrotheads)
KFIRE
KICK-U
KID&ME
KIEU
KILLA
KKEG (been drinking so much, he stutters)
KLASSIK
KLASSY
KOOPAH (great - A Olde England car with a New England accent)
K-OSS
KOZY-K
KRAKOW
KROOZR
KTYSCR
KUDLA2
KWIKK9
L84SK8
L8TRWYOU
LAB-KAB (this must be one of those mobile weapons labs we thought were in Iraq!)
LADYDI (DO NOT follow this car into tunnels!!!)
LANLK2
LAVESR
LAWWHSE
LBUG7 (Blue Ford Focus)
LBRTY- (that's the goal, anyway)
LDYBUG3
LDYRED
LEFTY+
LEGEND
LENNY-
LESMIZ
LEVIQT
LILKRDE
LILMGIC
LILSTAR
LITLTIG ("here's hoping our son will become a pro golfer so we can buy a nicer car")
LIVELF
LIVIT
LLFISH
LO-SKEE
LOVU4ER (love you for....her? emergency room??)
LOXRUS (this was a locksmith, but it would have been funnier if it was a deli)
LQQKN (get it? get it???)
LQQKNF9 (fnine?)
LSATYD
LTLLSR
LUCKY1
LUV-ED (don't we ALL love Ed, though?)
LUVGLF
LUVMUSK
LUVNR2
LUZNIT (another car you want to give a wide berth)
LV2BOWL
LV2DNC (let's see how you feel about that AFTER the convention)
LV2LRN (gotta be a teacher, right? ironically, they TEACH, not LEARN!!)
LV2SKI- (the scariest part is the "-"....that means there's another LV2SKI out there)
LVELIFE (live life? love life? how about "leave life", pal??)
LVMYJEP
LVNL1FE
LVQLTG
LVTOLAF
LYFSVR (as long as you're not in a no-holds-barred-spelling-bee-deathmatch, he's your man)
LUV2-T
M1DN1TE
M8RXGRL
MABEBEE (oh COME on!!)
MABUHI
MACHA
MAD+DOG
MADGOOS (um.....)
MAGLDY
MAHALO
MAKMLAF
MALLARD
MAMAFEN
MANGOMN
MARGE+ (I really hope their other plate says HOMER)
MARY&Y
MASTANG (misspell it if you "mast")
MAST-IF
MAUCHA
MAYAN (like a burger and fries..)
MDYBYS
MEANAY (so don't dare question his spelling)
MEDEVAL
MEESHU
MELONS (you've got to admire a guy who isn't ashamed to say what he likes)
MENON
MEOWZR
MERCY
METOO
MEWSIC
ME&WIT
MI-DRM (well, now that you've got your Corvette, you've nothing left to live for!)
MIGYRL
MILI
MI-TRN
MIRIDE (when you've got one of those snazzy Civics, who can contain their pride?)
MIWAY (how altruistic, Frank!)
MENSCH
MKBLEV
MLKSDA2
MOMSGTO
MOMSTR
MOMS+5
MOMWGN
MOMZOD
MONGOOS
MOOKIE
MOTOX95
MOTTO
MRSPERK
MRS-S
MRTIME
MTN-DO
MTNHKR
MTNLIVN
MUSIC3
MVNGON
MY4MULA (for stupidity? IT'S A SUCCESS!!)
MYBURB (Suburban....with insecure owner)
MYJETT
MYPEARL
MYPRSHS
MYREWRD
MYTURN
NAH
NANLEE
NANSJP (Thanks, Nan....I wondered whose Jeep it was)
NASCARR (not all race fans can spell)
NE-DAY
NEF4TT (she wishes)
NETTE- (too bad...from a financial standpoint)
NERALIA
NFLFNZ
NH2NY
NHTODO
NIGHTLY
NITTANY
NIXMUM
NIZMO
NLVWU
NOAIR (Maine plate - and I thought they had less pollution there)
NOMONEY (on a brand new Corvette convertible - is it any wonder he's short on cash?)
NO-NECK
NONO4U
NO-RAIN (Does this work? In any case, it's better than no air)
NOSPIN
NOT+HIS
NOWHEY
NOWIFE (see HSNOMAN)
NT4NTHN (you mean there's a reason for this nonsense?!?)
NTAHUMT
NTMNTN (Nut Mountain?)
NTUCKET
NTYLLW
NUHOPE
NUMEGA (the old mega WAS getting a bit tiring)
OBEHAVE
O-BLIMY
OB-ONE+
ODDBALL
OH2SKI
OH-DEE
OHMYHED
OK2BME (well, if you say so)
OKIPRO
OKTDID
OMIGSH
ONAFLY
ONIN2
OOD (they use those in Egyptian moosic, don't they?)
OOHJHNY
OOPSSRY (unfortunately, not sorry enough)
OPUS
ORIGINL (bad spelling is hardly original on license plates!!!!)
OURTYME
OURUFO
PASTE+
PAZZA
PC-CAKE
PDOTAY ("OK, Buckwheat, P.D. !!)
PEACE4 (whom?)
PEGASIS
PENRAY (a futuristic version of the penlight...)
PENST8 ("My alma mater defines me!")
PHATTY
PHD-RN
PHLGGH
PHONE
PHONE- (is this like those "no radio" signs?)
PHROG
PINAKL (but not of spelling)
PIRATE
PITCRU
PKITUP (yes...please do)
PKTFNCE
PKUPMAN (at least his life has a purpose)
P-NADO
POCASET (why poke just one?)
POOOH+
POO&ME (hey, whatever you do behind closed doors...)
POPEYE-
PORTAGE
POWAZ
P-POD (green VW)
PQQHBR
PRAHARD
PRATTA
PRAZGO
PREBLE
PRLESS
PRONTO
PROS (last I knew, prostitution was illegal here, but give them points for putting a company car out there)
PSIADCT
PTZMOM
PUGLOVE
PUGWGN
PUNNY
QUADMOM (stereo mom just lacked dynamics)
QUIST (please, please....don't be an alternative spelling of "kissed")
R3BRATZ
R4BOYZ-
RAB
RAMJET (maybe this car was a Transformer toy?)
RAMPS
RAMS3 (They'll need to get more than one field goal if they want to win consistently)
RAPNZEL ("Let down your hair so I can climb into that huge SUV!")
RAVRTX
RAYDEN
RDKLLL
RDSKNS
RDSOXX
REDFIVE
REDNEK
REDSOX&
REDTOY
RELAAX
RESIN2 (only amusing because it was next to WATER2)
RFAMLE
RHYTHM-
RICOSV (please, God, tell me this ISN'T 'Rico Suave'.....)
RIP1
RKTEKT
ROADET
RONDON
ROOTBR
ROTILVR
RTFISHL
RTIKUL8
RUF&RDY
RUHROH (MA - didn't look like the Mystery Machine)
RUSHTOR
RSOX45
SAABSHP
SANDLE
SATIN (up here you can't be sure if this isn't because 'SATAN' was already taken!!)
SAVANA
SCATAH (doesn't say much for the vehicle, does it?)
SCHOGGI
SCOTISH (there must be a joke here about Scots and their bad spelling)
SCRAPPY
S-DOODA (...huh?)
SEASON
SED8ED (but still behind the wheel)
SERVMUP
SINEAD (wonder if the tires were bald)
SEAGIRT
SHBALA
SHMYGN (that won't be necessary)
SHODOG
SHOEBOX
SHOFR+ (really? what additional services do you supply??)
SHYIRSH
SICK-6
SIDEKCK (it's written in chrome on the side, why pay extra to reiterate?)
SILANDI (this MAY be names...or is it?)
SILLY (finally!! honesty in plating!)
SINATRA
SIRENS
SK84FN (that's nice....go do it so you're not on the road and in my way)
SK84KX (etc)
SKEL8OR
SKEMER
SKI-NG
SKIPTL
SKYDIVR (once again....)
SKYDVA (maybe this one sings opera during freefall)
SLAKKER
SLALOM
SLAVE1
SLCLIP
SLD4FN
SLY1 (and this proves it!)
SMAHT
SMOKE-R
SMOOTH (oh, yeah...)
SMPLYDN
SNOOTS
SNUGASA (VW Bug)
SNW-BD
SOXROCK
SODACAN
SOFTAIL
SOL-SVD
SOULMAN
SPACIA
SPCMN
SPDAMNK
SPINE1
SPINE7 (and to think, some people have NO spine)
SPLASH
SPLAT
SQUEEK+
SQHEAD
SQPANTS
SRFNSKI (get off the road and go DO it)
SS4ME
ST2468
STAMP
STARLV
STASH (why not just flag the cops down??)
STCLWN (street clown? Saint Clown? Either way it's bad)
STETSON (not just a hat - it's a lifestyle!)
STHPAW-
STLPLYN
STVN1
SUBIQ
SUNCHIK
SUNDEW
SUNFWR
SWETNS
SWIISH
SWT-XLS
SYR-AHH
S+O+S
TAKGS
TALE
TANGY
TARFY
TARTAR
TATONKA
TAYLRD
TDYBEAR
TEES-M
TEE+UP
TERIBL1 (more self-esteem issues)
TEXBOY
TGGRTOY
TH-ANSR
THECAPE (A new superhero, or just someone in the wrong state)
THEGIRL
THETAZ
THETUNA
THNSUM
THUMPR
TIGERI
TIKTOK
TIMBOB
TIME4T
TIMMAH
TIMSLDY (A little insecure, Tim?)
TLCNRY
TMID8R
TOI+MOI
TOMZTOY
TOMZTY (I hope the toy is the CAR!)
TONKATK
TOPGUN2
TOPL3SS
TOPLS (neither the car nor the driver were....)
TOPSEL
TORKY
TOUCHY1
TOW-TOY
TOYCAH
TPLSBUG (VW convertible)
TRAVL- (not the greatest ambition for your car!)
TREEHGR
TRNSL8 (Texas - just proving that the illness exists elsewhere)
TROFEE (My guess is the trophy is not from a spelling bee)
TRONTO
TROT+ON
TRUES
TRUSHI
TRYME (threat or offer??)
TUNES
TURN-2-
TWEE-T
TWISTA
TWISTR
TWNZ+1
TYPESUN
TYVOR
TZMNIA
UCMQQSE
ULUVIT
UMM-NO-
UN4GVEN
USBLUEZ
USHOCKY (and they say those guys can't spell)
UW8N4ME
VAI TU (you Vai, me Yngwie...oo oo)
VIDYA
VOLEBAL
VRMONT (you live in NH, pal)
VINNEY (this falls right into line with the stereotype of guys with that name, unfortunately)
VMLINUX (I am my job...I have no life)
W8-UP
WAGN-HO (you'd hope she had higher self-esteem...)
WAGON
WAHINE
WANASKI
WATER2 (see RESIN2)
WAXED
WAYTOGO
WCHOUT
WEEZR
WENS (sorry to hear you're afflicted)
WHAAAT (NY)
WHAHOO
WHEELZ
WHIT (and from the way he drove toward oncoming traffic, we can safely say he didn't give one)
WHUTEVR
WICKED-
WICKKED
WILKNS
WIN-E
WNDRFL
WOOG
WPOOH-
WRITEIT
WRTNOW
WT+EVER
WUFPAK
WUMPUS
X-HITE
XISNE1 (huh??)
XITLALY (I have NO idea...)
XL-DIVA
X-OTIC
XPLODE (a good plate had it been an old Pinto, but I would just steer clear of this car, in case)
XQSME06
XQUZ-ME
X-RING
XXX-XX
YC-RLTY (Maine)
YESDEAR
YEZIAM
YLD1 (you're way out of control...)
YOBCOOL
YOUNGEN
YUPTRK
ZILJIN
ZUGZUG
ZPINBY (Mass.
ZUKES
Z-VIER
&CIAO
&DAM& (...and demand what, pal???)
&DANCE (but run the stop sign, go right ahead...)
&JP&
&SERENA (I assume there's a VENUS car in their driveway, too)
&ZL8AGN
-2FUN-
-4ME-
-BCNU-
-BIT-
-BLESSD
-BLINK-
-BOAT-N
-BKLYN-
-BUM-
-CARP- (why advertise? her boyfriend will find out soon enough)
-CHEVY-
-CHIC
-COUCH
-DOUG (and apparently proud to have dumped him)
-DUCE-
-EDUC8-
-FUN42 (less fun for two? what is it? masturbation??)
-GOMA-
-HAIR
-HAWKEY (less like a hawk?)
-HUTCH- (somewhere you KNOW there's a STARSKY...)
-IRISH1 (less Irish than whom?)
-LEAP-
-L-T-P-
-MAZ-
-MOXIE-
-MUD-
-MUDDY-
-NAG3-
-PEANUT (nut allergy)
-PINK
-PINK-
-REIGN-
-ROSEY
-QUACK (I hope you find it)
-REDHOT (why would you advertise that?)
-RTOY-
-SMILY
-STOCKS (probably a good idea in this economy)
-SWTPEA
-TIBS-
-T-BO (sadly, the initial "-" indicates there's ANOTHER T-BO out there)
-TONKA- (truck - of course)
-TOY
-TRUTH (must be a politician)
-WTEVR
-WRR-
-YAWL-
+AKA+
+ARETE
+EAST+
+ELVIS- (make up your mind, already!!)
+FAITH+ (they're crosses...I get it...)
+HOME+
+GEMINI
+JAKE+
+MEW+
+KATHI (if they break up, does it have to change to -KATHI?)
+OTAKU
+PATFAN
+POCO+
+SAINT (..that's likely...mm)
+SARGE
+SHOES+
+S&M+
+TAT+
+TUTU+
+VW+
+XXX
+YOGI-
-YOYO-

More Travels

2009-09-01T12:53:00.021-04:00

Out and about . . .

"Art" shot (meaning, multi-hued and out-of-focus!) of Mrs. L before
a gig in Vermont, taken with a cheap "gimmick" camera:

Roadside food, entrance:

Roadside food, exit:

Cloud animal, Vermont:

Cloud . . um . . volcano . . yeah, that's it, Vermont:

War protesters in western Massachusetts:

Manhattan - Ice cream and back rubs, who could ask for more?

Choosing fruit at an outdoor market (tougher than choosing ice cream!) :

Waiting for the train back downtown:

Walking across the Brooklyn Bridge, #1:

Showing bemusement that friend's iPhone can't be left alone for
even a minute, Brooklyn Bridge #2:

Sign o' the times, Coney Island:

Very frightening how many takers there were, and how many
were able to get off a headshot!!!

The "veranda", Brooklyn:

If you tire of walking, just sit on a dog!

Alligator control, NYC-style:

Master L, scouring the beach at Coney Island, attempting to avoid the
"whitefish" and "needlefish" :

Cat blocking the exit when we got home to prevent us from
leaving again:

We'll try to get out again when he falls asleep . . .

Update in Photos

2009-07-18T14:10:00.009-04:00

A photo is worth 1000 words, so this makes up for
my lack of posting . . . yeah, OK . . .

Views from the road . . .

Exciting view of cinder blocks on roof, State College,

Pennsylvania:

Couldn't figure out WHY they were there. Unless . . . are they

aesthetically pleasing?!?

But wait - we actually saw some urban life in our travels.

Mr. and Master L in Times Square:

If they keep up this "walking mall" stuff, the boy will

never believe my tales of "old" NYC!!!

We saw some of the classic city wildlife:

Heh.

Master L among geodes:

NYC bedroom view:

And the view from the main room:

Well, at least any concrete in those views is being used

properly! "We are not in Pennsylvania anymore . . ."

Wandered the (now unfamiliar) streets, discovered a

great restaurant . . I'd say its name, but it was already

hard enough to get a seat!!! :)

The good old East River . . .

. . . a lot of people I know live within this view, but we didn't
have time to see any of them . . . this was as close as we got.
There just wasn't enough time.

This was the back of a truck that aggressively cut us off on the highway:

Clearly it was a tribute to some OTHER drivers.

I didn't take any photos of the band gig at the nudist camp.

Sorry. But you probably are not!

We managed to cross paths with the Ani Difranco tour:

And the "Tall Ships":

But still managed to find time for relaxation:

Well . . . ONE of us did, anyway! Bastard.

We Were On A Break!!!

2009-03-31T22:17:00.008-04:00

I've been away. No real reason other than the

massive internet depression caused when "Michelle"
decided to stop blogging. Everyone followed, lemmings
to the sea....

Here's some stuff from my time away . . .

At the Museum of Science in Boston, there is a big display
"habitat" with a few marmosets.

I asked the person on duty, "What do they feed them?"
She went into the storage closet and pulled out:

Marmoset Chow!!!
Of course.

Master L and I by the lovely Dorchester shore:

Heh. This was the last "giant parka" day of the year, I think.
Losing that coat is like dropping 20 pounds. It makes people
think I've taken some action re: my aging carcass, when
in fact, I haven't. Although - just the fact that the snow is
gone and we're out walking around now probably inadvertently
helps. The unintentional exercise method . . .

A visit to the JFK Memorial Library:

This is a great quote, but you have to wonder if it was JFK
or some underpaid speechwriter that came up with it:

That's right. I'm hopelessly skeptical. As if you didn't know that.

I don't know what I.M. Pei was getting at with this scaffolding.
Does it make a statement?

Or is it just my 'camerawork' making the statement?

On the home front, can anyone figure out why our cat lets
Master L get away with this:

If *I* tried to fold back the cat's ears, he'd (literally) rip me
a new one. But for some reason it's OK when Master L does it.
Maybe it's because Master L cleans the guck out of the corners
of his eyes for him. What? He should soil his OWN paws?

We also let Master L "redo" his room. Here are the colours
he picked:

"That's my boy."

The guy at the paint store thought *I* was nuts.

Let's see . . . what else . . .

After only 30 years, I finally figured out that if you tune
your car radio to a classical station, you don't get your
ears blown out whenever you eject a tape/CD. Am
I quick, or what?

Speaking of quick - in my quest to "listen to all of my CDs",
I reached rack number two this week!! Only took 19 months.
I'm on the Fred Frith stuff now. It was cool to rediscover all
the great discs Bill Frisell has put out . . . I'd forgotten how
good some of those are. Was that the greater purpose of
this whole exercise? Probably not. We'll call it a side
benefit.

Well, I should probably stop writing now. The cat is dry.

And looking pissed off.

ARRRGH!

2009-02-17T23:07:00.005-05:00

Woke up from an unintended nap a few minutes ago.
11pm.

The house is 57 degrees. The oil burner will not run.
F*&#!!!!!! Just what I need.....let's see how quickly
the temp falls before morning....

It's 17 outside.

Again - ARRRGH!

**UPDATE - it is now 5:48 a.m. and ten degrees outside,
48 inside....no service for at least another hour or so.
Can I get another "ARRRGH!!!!" ?

And one more for the coming repair bill?

As Meg Brazill once said...

2009-01-30T13:23:00.003-05:00

"You shouldn't have let me go to sleep if you wanted me to get up!"

I know how he feels. I should have been asleep for most of the 80s.
But no, people kept waking me up.

We're right in the middle of winter here. The older I get, the more
I HATE winter. Shovel snow. Be cold. Give all our money
to the oil company. Get stuck behind drivers who act as
if they've never seen snow/ice before ("Hey!! What IS this stuff??
It's cold! It's slippery! There are only two options - I can either
drive 5 mph and hold up the rest of the world, OR, I can drive
90 mph and wind up with my SUV on top of a 10-foot high
snow bank . . . hmm, decisions, decisions.")

Had almost no work at all in January, except for the one place that
keeps "forgetting" to mail the checks. For some reason, THAT
place wants to hire me. Feh!

Anyway, happy Waitangi Day. And you thought I'd forget!
Oh, wait - I DID forget . . it was yesterday.

A Sign O' The Times

2009-01-21T21:54:00.004-05:00

I still haven't much to say, but all of a sudden people I know
are opening "Etsy" accounts . . . so I figured I'd throw them
a plug. The economy sucks! Buy some stuff!!!

It won't help YOUR financial woes, but maybe the "stuff"
will make you warm and fuzzy . . . heh . . .

No, I don't get anything from them. I just get to know
I turned you on to some cool stuff. I'm that kind of guy.
Um . . yeah. Oh, go look. What the hell.

Art:
Crescentdragon [this one just started]

Knitwear:
RinTheRed [her knitting needles are famous in rock 'n' roll - heh]

I have talented friends, I guess. No, it doesn't rub off.
I can't make much of anything, besides noise. Noise
is what I do. The market for noise is diminishing
rapidly.

Walking On Water

2009-01-16T11:49:00.003-05:00

I'll assume by now everyone has seen the pics of the plane that
had to ditch in the Hudson River . . . here are some of the
passengers waiting to be picked up:

Unbelievable!

How fortunate that the plane was chartered by the folks

going to the "Jesus Family Reunion" . . .

French Toast

2008-12-28T20:11:00.003-05:00

"That French Toast looks good enough to be photographed."

"OK . . . I'll do that."

. . . too bad we don't have a "professional" digital camera. One of
the goals for 2009 . . .

"That bottle of maple syrup cost $18."

Damned global warming. I blame Dick Cheney. (Why not?)

Ho! Ho!

2008-12-25T10:21:00.003-05:00

Yes, that means YOU (you know who you are).
But in a good way . . .

Been up to my ears for over a month, may actually
post something soon. I wrote a new year's blues song
several years ago that never got recorded (or played
anywhere, for that matter). I'm considering doing
another bare-bones studio demo next week.
Can you feel the anticipation???

Invasion of relatives in less than six hours . . . must
vaccuum (that's 'hoover' for you overseas readers,
assuming you haven't all abandoned me).

We have one parking spot available and a minimum of
five cars coming. First come, first serve. Still too much
snow on the side of the road for street parking, I think.
We may have to start up a shuttle service to the nearest
mall parking lot!

Here's hoping you all have a good day, whatever it is
you do today.

[p.s. If you are a big city dweller . . . did "Pottersville"
really seem so bad???]

Let's Drill!

2008-10-29T12:07:00.004-04:00

OK, I have put up the 'bare-bones' demo version of the
song with a short shelf-life.

You will find it if you drill HERE.

Infrequent Lugubrious Ramblings

2008-10-23T11:41:00.012-04:00

It's a good thing I am not obligated to write on schedule. Really.

Fortune cookie wisdom: "The mightiest oak in the forest is just a little nut that held its ground."

I have to hope THAT one is true . . or I'm screwed.

Actual conversation I had with a client/patient the other day:

Me: "What would you like for lunch?"
C/P: "Do we have any ham?"
Me: "Yes."
C/P: "Do we have any cheese?"
Me: "Yes."
C/P: "Then I'd like a ham and cheese sandwich. But give me a lot of
cheese and only one slice of ham."
Me: "Why?"
C/P: "Because I don't like ham and the cheese will kill the taste of it."

You know what's funny? I frequently play in bands at venues all around the area where I grew up (northshore MA). After almost 30 years of gigs, I have only seen ONE person I knew from my youth, and that happened about 19 years ago. Where did they all go? On the other hand . . . when I went to NYC for one of the Cream shows a few years back, I ran into a bunch of people I knew (though not from my youth). Go figure. I guess it's possible that my natural ability to repel people only radiates out about 200 miles - that would explain the NYC cluster. Then again, maybe my hometown just sucked so much that everyone had to leave. Of course, these days, it looks like every other town - they finally have their mini-malls and Starbucks . . .which saves me the trouble of having to go back, since I've got those in NH. Oh, yeah, and I don't know anyone there.

Wait . . it's not true! There WAS another guy . . I got a call to fill in for some band's ailing bass player back around 1995, and the band's guitar player was a guy I knew from high school. OK, so I'm either a liar or have early-onset Alzheimer's. But, I never saw that guy again and don't remember the name of the band. That could be a clue . . .

I never went to any of those high school reunion things, but I did get this observation from a friend who went to his: "All the women are hotter and all the men are fat and/or bald."

Well, there you go.

Hey, what do you do after your record company has already put your old LP out on CD, and then after you have put it out again yourself as a 'remastered' CD??

Why......put it out yourself (again), half-speed and/or reversed!!!!!
...of course!

Example:

Fripp & Eno - No Pussyfooting
1: 1-5 "The Heavenly Music Corporation"
6-7 "Swastika Girls"
8-12 "The Heavenly Music Corporation" (reversed)
CD 2: 1-5 "The Heavenly Music Corporation" (half speed)
6-7 "Swastika Girls" (reversed)

-----------------------------------------------

What a great idea! This should be done with EVERY record ever made!!!
. . . um . . . well . . . maybe not. Let's start with old Partridge Family
records and see where it takes us.

Speaking of 'old' recordings . . . do you ever attach emotions to particular songs/albums that take years to overcome, if ever? My quest to 'listen to all my CDs' (yeah, I'm still at it) has brought me to Ani Difranco's "To The Teeth". When this one came out, we lived in a really shitty apartment with a complete tool of a landlord. It was hell. And for the longest time, I couldn't listen to this CD because it reminded me of living in that dump and dealing with that shithead. The spell must have broken, because I actually got through the whole disc without wanting to punch someone! :)

About two weeks ago, I wrote a song about a fictitious couple named John & Sarah. I had some grand plan about a full band and a female singer for the Sarah lines - alas, the troops could not be roused sufficiently to do the thing before its shelf-life (hopefully) expires. So instead I cut a bare-bones guitar/voc demo version. I suppose I need to post it up somewhere. There could be at least three people who'd get a laugh from it. And wouldn't that make it all worthwhile??? What can I say? I'm a giver.

Yeah.

Back To 1974

2008-10-09T10:22:00.004-04:00

Gas lines . . .

Yesterday, a local branch of a credit union staged a "thanking our customers" PR stunt in conjunction with the gas station around the corner from my house. For six or seven hours, they sold gas for $1.99/gallon.

As a result, there was a traffic backup well over a mile long. Here it is outside my house:

I did the math on this one . . . I had a half-tank of gas already - my car only holds eight gallons - so . . . I could wait in line for an hour or more to buy four gallons at a savings of $1.40/gallon, while burning the gas that I had paid $3.40 for the other day. Hmmm . . . seems like a very small payoff there! I wondered if any of the people sitting out there thought of that?

On top of that, I got a call from my son's school: "Due to the traffic on your street, the bus will not be able to pick students up."

So, now I had to drive him to the school.

At the end of this fiasco, I noticed that the DPW hadn't picked up our trash. The bin is full. What am I supposed to do with THIS week's trash???

I e-mailed the credit union and thanked them for fucking up MY day while "thanking" their customers. Asked if perhaps they'd come pick up my trash . . . bastards.

Anyway . . here's a picture I took later of our cat stalking a squirrel:

Every so often, he'd turn around and give me a look that said, "Well?? Are you going to open this screen so I can get out there?!?"

He forgets that I trim his claws, I guess.

It reminds me of when I was a teenager and would be caught eyeing girls by some of my relatives. They'd say, "You wouldn't know what to do if they said yes."

Yeah, well, my relatives were idiots. So maybe the cat would just pounce and use his teeth.
Or tongue (that's what *I* did).

But wait - the cat spends all day licking HIMSELF. Great work, if you are a contortionist, I guess.

You know, I didn't INTEND to work blue today, but I just couldn't stop myself. Too bad.

I'm Sorry, But . . .

2008-10-02T22:01:00.004-04:00

. . . it's pronounced, "NEW-KLEE-UHR".

If you say, "NEW-KYUH-LUR" . . . you are an idiot.

A fucking idiot!

*****UPDATE *****

I wrote the above lines while watching the vice-presidential debate.
I was so disgusted that yet another idiot who can't pronounce that
word aspires to have access to the launch codes.

So - as a game, I started counting how many times good ol' Sarah
said "nucular" in a response. Got as high as SEVEN . . and THEN . .
THEN . . at exactly 9:57 pm (EST), she gaffed!

She said, "nuclear".

Which means - she damned well KNOWS how to say the word,
but has CHOSEN to use the 'official' Bush mispronunciation.

Is that lame, or really evil??????

Take The Damned Target Off My Back!

2008-09-30T11:42:00.004-04:00

While driving home in the "midnight hour" the other night, happily cruising along at 65mph in the middle lane, I noticed a vehicle coming up behind me at about 90 in the left lane.

It's a pickup truck, and it veers right at the last moment and the (moronic) oversized tire of the truck hits the back of my car and sends me across the road into the right lane. I regained control of the car and saw that the truck hadn't even slowed down - in fact, it was now going FASTER. I am not a racecar driver, nor do I drive some overpowered sports car, so although I attempted to keep an eye on where the truck went, he was soon too far gone for me to ever catch up. Damage to my car seems to be mostly cosmetic, but still probably $500-700 worth. In other words, right around my deductible, so I'm just screwed. I hope whoever it was ended up wrapped around a tree later. But I'm not bitter . . . heh . . .

Then the NEXT day, on my way to the body shop to get the bad news, I was driving behind one of those recycling trucks on the highway. All of a sudden, plastic bottles started flying out of the top of the thing. One hit squarely on my windshield but fortunately didn't break or crack it. I got into a different lane but kept an eye on the truck - it continued to eject plastic bottles for a couple of miles.

Who the hell put a target on me??? And can they PLEASE remove it now?

Thanks.

Leftover Pics

2008-09-27T11:43:00.004-04:00

Cleaning out the vacation photos. Here are some that didn't
"make the cut" in earlier posts (the judge is a corrupt bastard!).

Boat ride to Friday Harbor:

Mt. St. Helens chipmunk:

Um. . . a fake dinosaur causes Master L to do his impersonation of "The Scream":

Old lava flow path, several miles out from St. Helens:

North Head lighthouse. Don't ask me what town it's in!:

View from inside the lighthouse:

"We'd heard it existed, but . . I don't know". Master L smiles while tending chickens. He REALLY liked taking care of the chickens.

"The Space Needle points to the sky - and the Space Needle's such a nice guy." This is just to prove we were in Seattle . .

Here's the family, somewhere, museum probably. We aren't THAT pink, really!:

Here's the whole damned crew, including our hosts, at Friday Harbor:

Must have been an OK trip. . . Master L expressed an interest in moving to the area. Of course, he didn't have to go to school while we were there. That probably helped.

Summer Recap - Mt. St. Helens

2008-09-22T23:59:00.007-04:00

On the way to Mt. St. Helens, we saw this sign . . .

. . . "EXTREME DANGER". Something to do with the drop-off behind the sign, I guess. Not easily daunted, Mrs. L took this shot of the flowers growing on the side of the cliff. This is the woman who claims to be afraid of heights . . .

The grey you see at the bottom (that looks like a dried-up river bed) is actually the ash and pumice flow from the eruption, albeit almost thirty years later.

I did notice that the sky is too close to the ground in this area. See?

On to the actual volcano . . . two shots, the first in 'unpopular, film' mode and the second in 'popular, digital' mode:

Seems to me that the digital photos are always darker but slightly more sharp (if you're lucky). However, I don't know what settings Mrs. L was using on the K-1000, so . . . talk amongst yourselves.

Those last two photos were taken from the area where that guy Johnston made the famous radio call, "Vancouver! Vancouver! This is it!" - only to be killed by flying rock a few moments later. FIVE MILES from the mountain. Yikes.

But, hey, they named the ridge after him. Never mind that the Native Americans probably already had a name for it - that's not how we roll here in the US!

Summer Recap - The Pacific, First Look

2008-09-20T07:49:00.015-04:00

I figured it was our parental duty to show Master L the Pacific Ocean. At this point, he seemed to be channeling my mother . . . "Looks like water to me, Dad". . .

. . . and the coastline:

. . .well, it looks like . . .
. . . "rocks"! But check out those windswept trees. Wait - are they windswept, or are they simply cowering back due to the possibility of falling off the cliff??

This next picture was taken, not with the digital camera, but the old Pentax K-1000 MANUAL camera with some stuff called FILM. Perhaps you've heard of it? Do you see any differences? Well . . . do ya, punk?

Master L, officially conquering the Pacific once and for all:

Of course, going to the Pacific meant . . . hours in the car!!! We were actually closer to the ocean than to a major city but apparently east-west travel in Washington is more difficult than north-south travel. We have that same problem home in New Hampshire. I guess fewer roads were built going west because . . I don't know, the workers had to look into the sun, so they either worked LESS or went BLIND?

Anyway, we grabbed something to eat before the long ride back to the lair and, of course, checking on the chicken egg supply. Master L really enjoyed the chicken routine. Maybe it was because the rooster started screeching anytime we got close to his "harem" and wouldn't stop until we were halfway out of the yard. Then again, we WERE taking the eggs. But I refuse to feel guilty - as I said, they were delicious. And yet again, maybe that was not so much the eggs but the skill of our host who prepared them. He works at a fancy-schmancy hotel and one of his duties is the breakfast buffet eggs. The guy can cook a perfect omelette in no time at all, complete with "TV chef pan flip" technique . . .

Summer Recap - Washington, Lair

2008-09-19T07:42:00.007-04:00

To finish off summer vacation - or rather, extend it, because school actually started the week of this trip [Master L was very 'distraught', I'll tell you!] - we went west, to visit some old friends.

On the plane, Mrs. L 'discovered' Biscoff cookies. Her eyes lit up. She asked me to see if the flight attendant could give us any more. Little did I know HOW serious she was. She made sure to save the web site address for later ordering [turns out they sell them at a store near our house, though . . so that saves about a million dollars in shipping fees!]. OK, the damned cookies ARE good, I admit it!

Here's the obligatory shot of Mt. Rainier that everyone takes from the plane on the way into Sea-Tac: As my mother once famously declared - after a trip to the Grand Canyon: "I wouldn't give ya nothin' for the West. It's just a bunch of rocks."

On the way out of Seattle (I have no idea where this is now) we stopped at "The Glass Museum".
All of these displays were outdoors:

Our destination was this house, that our friends have been building with their very own hands for several years now. Neither of them had done anything like this before, and I have to say it looks really nice.

Trouble is (at least from a visitor's standpoint), it's located at least an hour from ANYTHING and TWO hours if you want to go to a big city. Great for living, less so for a tourist! Every morning and late at night there were deer in the yard. There were also LOTS of (non-venomous) snakes. It was funny - Master L had never encountered a snake in the wild, and he jumped about two feet in the air when he saw the first one near his feet. "DAD!!! THERE ARE SNAKES!". . . after I told him that they aren't the kind that would bite, it only took about an hour before he was chasing them to pick them up. They would open their mouths to threaten but never actually bite. He had conquered the snakes.

The people who live across the road (but not close by, by our standards) came over to say they were going away for the week . . . and asked our friends to feed their chickens and take the eggs from coop. So now we had a daily project: before breakfast and at dinner time we'd trek up the hill and across the road. Mmmm. . . eggs still warm from the hens. . .

Soon we would discover the 'joy' of getting anywhere in the west. Comfortable car seats are a must. And it became stunningly obvious why there were little roadside espresso trailers dotting the countryside. The REAL reason Seattle is known for coffee is, if you aren't wired up you could never drive to where you need to go. My theory, anyway.

We settled in for a bit before venturing out into this brave, new world.

Summer Recap - Vermont

2008-09-18T08:30:00.015-04:00

Vermont - I had a couple of gigs there over the summer, for one of which I took the whole family for the weekend (posted earlier) and the other was kind of hit-and-run.

But I'm just 'getting too old' (ahem) to drive for hours,
play for hours, and drive for hours again to go home
in the middle of the night. So I crashed at the drummer's
house and the band went bass fishing on the Connecticut
River in the morning.

This was their cat, Bandit, at 5 in the morning:

So - we're happily casting our lines, when the drummer decides
it's getting hot. Time to remove his sweatshirt . . . up over
the head, flip, oops, were those the KEYS to the truck
that just fell out of the pocket, bounced once on the deck
and fell into the river?!!? Why . . yes, that was them.

Were the keys on a float keychain? Nah. Too sensible.
We're only boating, after all.

Fortunately, the guitar player had left the keys to HIS
truck back at the house, so a call was placed to the
drummer's girlfriend who then came and rescued us.
We were able to get the boat back to the house,
leaving the drummer's truck by the river for a
locksmith to deal with on Monday.

Here's his explanation for dropping his keys in
the river:

Well, his girlfriend DID give me some zucchini from their garden,
so I suppose it all comes out even in the end. (I'm not even sure
what that means).

Anyway, lots of GREEN on the drive home. . .

Right after I took this picture, the guitar player (who was driving ahead of me) called my cell. "Should you really be taking pictures while you're driving? REALLY?"

I said, "You're right. It's as bad as those people who are always making cell calls while driving!" He hung up, for some reason.

Oh . . right. The zucchini. How could I forget? I guess because they were so tiny:

Summer Recap - Maine

2008-09-17T12:33:00.006-04:00

Going through the massive stores of picture files from
the summer . . . this is, as all who have gone will know,
the gateway to Maine:

Master L frolics in the lake water:

. . . then tries his hand at being a surly fisherman:

Apparently it's less 'surly-inducing' when a friend is along:

HEY, who told you to take off the life jacket??

"Art" shot of the rowboat:

Master L with his first small-mouth bass:

Our friend Sue setting it free:

And another friend of Master L's . . .

. . .summing up what it's like to have to tolerate parents on vacation!

Blog Vacation 2

2008-07-26T18:10:00.007-04:00

This was the accomodation 'provided' for our VT stay:

Here's pretty much all I saw on the road - CORN ! !

. . . which is preferable to seeing one of THESE, especially at 2 a.m.:

Mrs. L suns herself on a rock:

. . . while Master L perfects his 'river-crossing' technique:

This was especially ironic:

Especially after playing a gig at a nudist camp the night before!

Master L notes that the blueberries are not all ripe just yet:

The cat takes a celebratory nap upon our return:

Maybe I need to take better vacation photos . . .

Some Stuff from Blog Vacation 1

2008-07-26T08:39:00.010-04:00

Here's some stuff that went on while I was off recovering

from sports-related betrayal . . .

One day, while hiking in the woods, Master L noticed

this, stuffed inside a hollow tree and sort-of covered

with brush:

This thing looks like some kind of lost military something
or other, doesn't it? It has latitude and longitude
markings and "Official Geocache" written on it.
Having had no idea what the hell 'geocache' was, I pulled the
the thing out of the tree with a long tree branch, and opened it
with the same. I don't know what I was thinking - if
this had been an explosive device, I doubt the length of
the branch would have saved me!

Anyway, it contained a logbook and a bunch of little toys.
Odd. But it had a web site written on it, too. So, not
knowing 'how the game is played', we took it home to
check out the site. That's when we discovered that there
are legions of people hunting down these 'geocaches'
using their GPS systems. Ah, technology - is there
anything it can't do?

Having looked at the web site, we now knew that
we weren't supposed to pull the box from its location
(oops), but instead, take an item from it and leave
something else. My son took a little toy 'Magic 8 ball'
that was in there and we put in a Matchbox car and
small bottle of hand sanitizer. Then we brought it
back out to the woods and put it back in the tree.
We had stumbled into the world of geocaching and
located one of their boxes without any technology
at all . . . just a good pair of young eyes. Hmmm . . .

On a different day, we went to a Red Sox game.

This was the best deal in the park for food.

And the 'food' had that heady mix of heat,
grease and cheese that makes any meal a
success! :)

My camera was not cooperating on this day . . . and I must have had

too much caffeine to hold it still (though I *thought* I consumed

enough grease to counteract that!).

What's with the double-spacing??? Stupid interface. But

now you can try to 'read between the lines' for some

actual interesting content!!!

Been Away

2008-07-24T10:38:00.002-04:00

I've been away. And on top of that, I had actually deleted
a couple of my last posts in disgust, making the lapse
seem longer.

You see, my life-long love affair with the Boston Celtics
has come to an end. It was a painful breakup and I
needed time to regroup.

"But Mr. L, they WON. Why would you desert them
NOW?"

Thanks for asking. For the last 20 years or so, I've
dutifully bought tickets as part of a group. We were
there the year the team won only 15 games - sitting
ALONE in the top of the building. And I mean ALONE.
There was our group, and the rest of the seats were
empty. For years, our group had about 30 people
who came to all the crappy games when the
Celtics were just awful.

Forward to this year. The team went out and bought
what they needed to win (see "Florida Marlins Win
World Series"). As the year progressed, the
building filled up. People were coming back because,
hey, the team wins now!

Then the unthinkable happened: when the Finals arrived,
the Celtics office decided to 'reserve' 1400 seats for
"VIPs and celebrities". Needless to say, these had to
be seats right down in front because celebrities have
severe myopia, as evidenced by their views on
the world....

So, those 1400 seats had to come from somewhere.
You can see this one coming, right?? Our group
ticket allotment was reduced from 30 per game
to FOUR for Game Two ONLY. And - they weren't
even our normal seats. . . they were high in the balcony,
in an endzone, and $100 per ticket more expensive!
[From the time the building opened, our seats were
actually HIGHER than the balcony, but you'd have
to see them to know why they were 'better']

This is how the Celtics show "appreciation" for all the
years we supported them. But hey, Ellen Pompeo
wanted tickets . . . gotta make room! She plays a
doctor on TV!

I wrote a letter to the office asking for an explanation.
No response.

The ultimate insult was an interview in the Boston
press with the Celtics' guy in charge of doling out
the "VIP" tickets. When asked if the "VIPs"
have to pay for the seats, he responded:
"That's at the discretion of management."

In other words, "No - we get the prestige of
showing them on national television in our
building, we're aren't going to charge THEM
anything."

So. After supporting the team since childhood,
I can no longer do so in good conscience. The
organization is just a bunch of greedy bastards.

Are you listening, Kevin Garnett? The player
who said he wanted to "win it in front of [our]
fans" . . . who is so disconnected from the
business that he doesn't know that real fans
were ousted for come-lately 'VIPs' . . .

Not that he'd care, he probably scored 30 of
those tickets for his friends!

But I'm not bitter. They ARE saving me a lot
of money next season. I won't go!

So to recap: Celtics' ownership = BAD.
Or did I not mention that?

Random Blathering

2008-04-23T14:11:00.013-04:00

With gas prices hovering around $3.50/gallon
in my area, I got the bright idea to check out
what they're charging for home-heating oil these
days. We won't need any until the fall, but what
the hell. Might as well see how it's doing.

It's $3.90/gallon. That's insane.

And it's only going to get higher - the oil industry
only has one more year of free reign. They "need"
to grab all they can. They must be barely scraping
by on that measly 9 billion in profit each quarter. Best
part is, all the local delivery companies have a "minimum
delivery" of 125 gallons. That means that even if the
price didn't go up (and we know it will), a MINIMUM
delivery will cost $487. And the oil from that will only
last three or four weeks, depending on how cold it is
outside.

Time to go solar. And I have a plan: we'll put up the
solar panels and then surround them with bottles
of milk - because every time you buy a gallon of milk,
no matter WHERE it is in your car. . . the sun is
directly on it. There must be some kind of lactic/solar
attraction. But wait . . . maybe the sun is only attracted
to milk that hasn't soured. That's a problem. Replacing
the milk would be pricey at $3/gallon. Hmmm . . . I see
a vicious circle forming here.

In other news, our cat has developed a magnetic
attraction to any and all passageways to the outside.
He desperately wants to get outside. He really needs
to be an indoor cat because there's so much traffic on
our street he probably wouldn't last long out there.
Well, that, and the wildlife that is far more vicious than
he. Or, more rabid. Are there degrees of rabidity???
I hope so, since he spends a good part of his day chewing
on my arm.

Anyway. Every time you enter or exit the house,
he's there, trying to get past you. Even just going
downstairs to do laundry is a pain because he'll run
down there and just hide under stuff to drive you insane.
I remember from my childhood that ALL cats like to
run into basements for some reason (are they natural-born
radon addicts??).

What else . . . oh, yeah, if I haven't said it already,
I really have the feeling that WHOEVER gets
elected this year is going to annoy the piss out
of me for the next four years. This morning
I saw Obama talking about gas prices having
climbed during THE LAST 20 YEARS . . .
get with the fuckin' programme, pal - they've
TRIPLED in the last SEVEN years. Let's
have the balls to say so.
We now have three candidates that stand a
chance. And every one of them annoys the
hell out of me. Oh, well . . . there's always
2012. But then we'll be dealing with
"the little brown one", who'll be old enough
to run by then. And the cycle will continue.
Ugh. Time to focus on the better things in
life:

"My kitten is large, my kitten is orange,

he eats like a walrus and squeaks like a door hinge."

Who says you can't rhyme 'orange'??? Bah!

It All Comes 'Round Again . . . Again

2008-04-10T10:41:00.004-04:00

Background:
In 1986 I was sitting in Giants' Stadium, at the Amnesty
International concert. All the big names were on the
bill - The Police, Peter Gabriel, Yoko Ono . . .

[I actually like Yoko sometimes. Much to the horror
of Mrs. L]

Anyway. Miles Davis was playing. As was fairly typical
for Miles in that period, he started off his set with a lot
of dissonant honking and sputtering. I don't know,
maybe it was his way of driving out the "non-believers"
or something. I heard a faint but growing ever-more-loud
"aaaaaaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRGGGGHHHH!"
as one guy in the crowd was running, full-speed, up the
stairs of the stadium.

As he passed me, he yelled, "I HATE this SHIT!!!!"

Forward almost 22 years. Yesterday, where the snow had
melted at the end of my driveway, I found a CD: "The
Essential Miles Davis".

I can only imagine that someone driving by this past
winter had the same experience as the guy in Giants'
Stadium all those years ago. I hope it wasn't the SAME
guy. . . maybe it was his kid.

Speaking of '86 - Bill Buckner was invited to throw out the
first pitch at the Red Sox homeopener the other day.
Buckner famously committed the error that lost
game 6 for the Red Sox in the World Series. Now
that the Sox have won two Series, apparently Buckner
is "forgiven".

I don't know, though. If I'd been catching the ball for
him. . . I think I would have let it roll between my
legs to the backstop. Heh. Call me bitter. Or just
cruel. But I had to endure that error while watching
the game with my girlfriend's family, hardcore
Mets fans all. So I guess I feel like *I* still owe
the poor guy some payback! HA!

The Miles' CD (double, at that) plays just fine. The
only thing that was damaged was the promo insert
for other discs.

Speaking of discs, if you haven't done it yet, go
on over to Deni Bonet's web site and buy her
new one. I said so. OK? Just don't throw it in a
snowbank. Or, at least pay for it first. :)

"No, No . . . That's OK, Honey . . ."

2008-04-08T12:21:00.003-04:00

Mrs. L got the corporate box seats for today's Red Sox
homeopener. But she has to use the other three seats
for "business" people.

That's fine. I can watch the game on TV. It'll be just
as good. I'll see replays, close-ups, etc. AND I'll
have my own bathroom and refrigerator.

So don't feel bad, Mrs. L. Your son and I will be just
fine. Just . . . FINE . . .

Plus the seats suck anyway! See:

Yeah. Who needs 'em?? I've got low-def TV!!!!

Still Typically Lugubrious Days

2008-04-02T12:56:00.003-04:00

Yeah, yeah, I don't write much here (or anywhere) anymore.
Deal with it.

Hey, how are you? I didn't mean to be so terse . . . heh.

OK, so I had a gig the other day. I loaded up the car. Of course,
it was low on gas. So I drove (past the gas station on this side
of the highway where I've refused to buy gas for several years
because one time the old guy who worked there in the wee
hours of the night ran out to yell at me because I had put
"too much" trash from my car into their barrel...and I quickly
figured out that they could do without the thousands of dollars
per year I spend on gas) and made a u-turn to hit the station
on the other side.

I decided to go inside to buy a drink for the road. As soon as
I stepped inside, my olfactory senses were attacked by what
could only be an "it saves me from having to shower" amount
of cologne, eminating from the attendant. Ugh.

I quickly grabbed a bottle from the case and handed it to
The Great Unwashed to ring up. Then I hit the road.

Note: if the person ringing up your sale touches your
stuff....and they are wearing some offensive scent (and
really, how many worn scents are NOT offensive??) ....
it WILL end up on your purchase. I spent the ride
trying to remember NOT to breathe in when putting
the bottle to my lips.

All that "remembering" must have overloaded my
synapses because I forgot where I was going. I knew
which equipment I had in the back of the car. Based
on the things I had with me there were only two places
I might be going, so I waited. It would come to me.

As I got within two miles of the exit on the highway I'd
have to take if it was "Place A" I still had no clue. So
I called my musical partner-in-crime. "Where are we
playing tonight?"

He told me, mere seconds before I would have had to
make the turn. But it was not to be. It was "Place B".
Forge ahead. Well....that was close. Relax. Take a
deep breath. Have a drink. NO! WAIT!!! Don't breathe
.....too late.

I can't get all nerved up on the road anymore because I
decided to stop biting my fingernails. It's weird having
little knives on the ends of all my fingers - how do
women live this way???

Speaking of living....

Have you seen that Molson Canadian beer ad? The
one where someone knocks over a beer and an
entire "Canadian wilderness" springs up from the
beer puddle???

Um....just how often do they CLEAN that bar??? I
think I'd start looking elsewhere for my leisure
activities.

A Guest-Post by GolfWidow

2008-03-12T13:29:00.005-04:00

Are you a bad blogger (like me??)...or do you need a break
from the stress of blogging deadlines!? Head on over to
GolfWidow's and get yourself a guest-post! And now... to
the post:

Golf Widow

I am guest-posting for Mr. Lugubrious, who is never nearly as morose as one would think, from his name.

In fact, I think Eeyore is more mournful than is Mr. Lugubrious.

[*I'll interject here and admit I've been compared to Eeyore in the past! - Mr. L]

Which just gave me an idea for a fun guest-post, and it's interactive.

I was going to make this a contest, but I haven't got any prizes, and I certainly wouldn't ask the Lugubrious One to provide some. It just struck me as a highly creative idea. Fun for the whole family.

And, given the (lack of) frequency of Mr. Lugubrious' posts, this ought to keep everyone busy for a bit.

Reverse-Engineered Caption Meme

No one is tagged (except myself; I am doing this in my own blog as well). You do it if you want to do it.

Instructions:

Pick a random phrase or sentence. This can be anything, from something you overheard, to a quotation from a movie, to a bunch of words that floated into your head at any given time.
Post the phrase in your blog.
Now find an image to post with it, such that the phrase is now the caption to the photo. (Make sure that, if you didn't take the photo, you credit the source.)
Invite your visitors to do two things (with a third, optional):
1. Come up with a different image for your "caption."
2. Come up with a new caption and image of their own, for their visitors to play off of.
3. OPTIONAL: Come up with a different caption for your image, which they can post in your comments.

Here is my completely-captioned submission.

"I'm so goth I shit bats."

(Still-image courtesy of http://www.helloaaron.com/; caption from a random LOLCAT I've seen floating 'round.)

Again, you now, should you choose to accept this mission, come up with a new image for this caption; come up with a new caption (and accompanying image) for your own blog, and you may also, optionally, recaption this image in Mr. Lugubrious' comments.

Have fun, people.

Jill's Next Record

2008-02-28T18:05:00.004-05:00

I've been a big fan of Jill Sobule's music for a long time.

Right now, she's raising funds for her next studio CD.
Expect this type of thing to become more common as
"record companies" continue to be . . . well, record
companies! LOL

You can go take a look at the fundraiser HERE. *

Let's get this thing done, folks - I want to hear it!

****** UPDATE --- Jill has reached her goal, donations are
closed ******

* Disclosure: if you donate through this link, they
will "credit" my donation upward 25 cents per $1 as part
of some grand referral scheme! I don't think I get enough
traffic here to change my already-donated level even if
everyone bought a CD . . . but at least you know!

Sporadic Update

2008-02-05T11:40:00.004-05:00

Let's see, what's been going on here?

Our "kitten", who was THIS size when we got him:

Is now THIS size:

YOW! He's only five months old. We are starting to suspect
that there is a little Maine Coon cat in his lineage. He's huge.

We attended the Richard Thompson "1000 Years of Popular
Music" concert in Boston. Gotta love those rockin' 1300s!
We noticed that pretty much every song written before
the 1700s mentions hell or the devil (at least the ones
they CHOSE to do). What does that mean?

What else . . .

The New England Patriots didn't win the Super Bowl.
Honestly - the way they played defence that day,
they didn't deserve to win it. There - I said it.
See? At least ONE person in NE can admit it!!

I had the misfortune to be on the road after the
game ended, so I was surrounded by drunk drivers
who were also angry and/or depressed. I stopped
at a store on the way and there were people
in the parking lot CRYING. "I can't believe
they lost!!", etc. It was as if the team had
done this horrible thing TO THEM. A bit
much, I thought.

They still had a great season. And we still have the
Celtics.

Here's a pic of the family, in our seats "high above courtside",
as Johnny Most would have said:

Does Master L look a bit jaded? He's been going to games since he
was five months old, so I'm not sure he appreciates it all the
time. Familiarity, etc. But at least he can say he's had his pants
off in the seating area. :) And that's worth something, isn't it?

The big pain weighing on me now:
After a couple of years of being dissatisfied with our dentist,
we finally got a new (and local) one. Our old practice had
been owned by a dentist I thought was really good. I think
I was his patient for 22 years. BUT - he got into the
"high-end cosmetic dentistry", you see. And then he
couldn't be bothered with his "regular" patients anymore.
So, he hired a bunch of quackers fresh out of school to
cover the regular dentistry. One of them did a root canal
on me (tooth #14, for those keeping score). During the
procedure I could tell she was going too far with the
hand drill and TRIED to stop her - saying "STOP!" as
best I could with all the hardware in my mouth.
Ignored. Two cranks later, I heard a crack.
Even with the anaesthesia, I now had serious pain.
Which was obviously wrong, because I didn't have
that kind of pain BEFORE the procedure.
I was glad-handed and reassured by the quackers
that "you can hear all kinds of sounds during
these procedures, they don't necessarily mean
anything."

No? Then why the pain?

"Give it time to settle down."

Uh, huh. Months go by. More excuses.
Almost two years elapse. The surgeon who
did the procedure is mysteriously no longer
employed there. . . I wonder why?

My old dentist sells the
practice. He writes my wife a letter saying he's
going to take time to pursue his "auto racing"
hobby". I meet with him and the new owner
of the practice to discuss the issue. They offer
to "redo" the root canal. The new guy steps
to the plate . . .

While he's in the tooth, he notes to the hygienist
that the original surgeon completely missed one
of the canals, and didn't fully clean out one of the
others. After, he proclaims, "I think we saved the
tooth."

Great, I think. Can the old surgeon give me back the
$900 I paid?

The tooth quiets down for awhile, but then develops
an infection. A round of anti-biotics kill it off.

And now, it's back again. Foolishly, I got in touch
with my old dentist, figuring "we had a relationship"
and he "might give a shit". Yeah. So much for that.
All he did was try to tell me about how "nothing that
occurred even comes close to malpractice".

BUT. . . he slipped, because he told me that he had
FIRED the surgeon's HUSBAND (yes, the two of them
are oral surgeons) because he was inept, but he
had the utmost respect for the woman who did my
surgery. Funny though . . the last time I was at
that office (and he's not the owner), the HUSBAND'S
name was on the list of surgeons. Hers was not.
I finally located her at another practice about 10
miles from there. So WHO got fired???

Isn't it great when someone you trust turns out
to be a lyin' bastard??? Oh, yeah. . .

So - do I get a lawyer and go back and sue the
original surgeon? What do you think?

Sorry I don't have any pics to go with that last
story.

For Spares Or Repair

2008-01-14T09:11:00.000-05:00

One back, vintage 60s. Needs overhaul after relentless snowfall
caused constant wear from shoveling.

But, then, it's like selling a house. You need a replacement and
it will probably be just as costly or in need of repair.

Just as the snowpack here had melted down so we could see
the street BEFORE we backed into it, we get another foot
of snow (so they are predicting). I've already been out
there to shovel Mrs. L OUT of the driveway, and I'm sure
I'll need to clear it three more times before she comes back.

No school today for Master L. "Weeee!", he said. Or
maybe it was "Wii". . . yeah, it looks like it was "Wii".
But he probably learns more from playing the games
on that thing than he does in our crappy school system.

Why is it that when you spill something (in this case,
a spoonful of sugar), the cat instantly is on top of the
spill area with one of his toys, thrashing around?
A moment before he was asleep in another room.
HOW do they DO that?!?!

And why is it that when you spill something on
a day when it's snowing like crazy, you see
that you're down to your last few paper towels??

I'm guessing band rehearsal will be rescheduled. What
the hell. It's only for the drummer anyway . . . LOL.

Does anyone else have one of these Senseo coffee
machines? They make coffee twice as expensive
but slightly more convenient and less wasteful,
sort of. But when Mrs. L first brought the thing
home, all I could think was, "Senseo??? As in,
'sense of your own mortality?' "

It does make you drink more coffee, so there
may be something in that.

Ah . . . I am rambling today.

I had planned to take at least one of the cars
to the mechanic to find out just how much the
next round of maintenance was going to cost
(I think we're looking at about $500 . . . one
of those, "Well, if you want me to replace that
part, I'll have to take these off too, so we
ought to just replace them now, while they're
off the car" deals). I love cars. Without them,
there would just be too much extra cash to
worry about.

Not to worry though. One car is still buried
under the snow and the other just got plowed
in again by our fabulous local plow/race team.
I am surprised they haven't killed anyone
with flying snow this year. But it's early.

Anyway. I expect to be burrowing out for
the next 12 hours. I would have said "boring",
but that could have meant something really
dirty or, really dull. . . like this post.

Valuable Emissions?

2008-01-09T09:00:00.000-05:00

I don't know . . . sometimes the world just
astonishes me. I got an e-mail from a friend of
mine the other day - someone she knows was
"looking for a home" for these guys:

Yeah, yeah . . . "awwww", "cute", etc.

BUT - they are AKC registered and cost $800!!!! EACH.

I sent her a response asking if they poop gold and pee gasoline
(If Junior Wells could drink TNT and smoke dynamite I suppose
anything is possible!).

$800. That's just stupid. I'm sorry. The looks on the puppies'
faces seem to indicate that even THEY know it. "Oh, man,
we're NEVER gettin' out of here . . ."

Or maybe they're saying, "Don't blame us, we don't even
get a cut!"

It Could Happen

2008-01-07T16:15:00.000-05:00

Hillary is elected president.

After a few months in office, she is caught with a male assistant under
her desk - performing "Lewinsky-esque" services for her.

Rather than try to hide the incident, she instead calls a press
conference and simply states: "Well, Bill.....now we're even."

Women across the nation celebrate in a wild frenzy and threaten
to publicly laugh at the size of any congressman's genitals who
dares to suggest impeachment.

"Raised his head above the parapet..."

2008-01-05T12:40:00.000-05:00

How's that for an obscure song reference??

It's not spring and yet here I am, emerging from hibernation.
Very groggy. Please forgive whatever follows. . .

The holiday season is over. Yay. Well, kind of - still haven't
seen everybody, and the ones who stayed away because of
the typical family bull are still away, but I don't have the
patience for that headgame crap anymore so who cares?
Life goes on. In fact, it was just this kind of garbage that
convinced me that if an opportunity to move out of New
England presents itself, I'll go. Finally. I've hated the
place most of my life so why stay?

"The snow is so pretty." So say those who don't have to
shovel it. The weatherjerks were moaning on TV last
week because we only got 29 inches in December,
"short of the record". Clearly they don't lift a shovel
either.

Well, our sports teams have cycled around and actually
pretty good now. But it's difficult to afford to take a
family to many games so why not worship from afar?
I'll still go to the Celtics games, though. Old habits,
you know.

I did my annual sentence, er, seasonal employment for
the month of December. Cash is good, but everything
else has to go on hold. No gigs (bad), but no rehearsals
either (not so bad). Working in a union environment is
really eye-opening. People there bitch and complain
about EVERYTHING while making more money for
doing less work than they ever could get away with in
the "real" world. But most have never worked in the
real world so they really just don't get it. There was
one guy who stood in one spot reading the paper for
90% of his shift. His coworkers had actually traced his
feet and put a placard on the floor that read, "Proper
foot position for reading periodicals". He did give a few
token moves here and there. And moved quickly at
break/lunch times. Let's not forget those "guaranteed
overtime hours" - two to four per day, as long as the
feet stay in the outlines.

While watching these people not work, I imagined
how they say "grace" before their holiday meals:

"Dear lord,

We see before us a small portion of the bounty to
which we are entitled. We are thankful for . . for . .
um . . er . . nope, I got nothin'.

And now, Timmy will read our list of grievances . . "

Yes, I know - I'm just jealous -- or not. At least I
know I worked for the chip on my shoulder!!

Apparently one of the bands I'm in has progressed without
me and now I've got to learn some new material before
Monday. In my absence, they always pick material I
wouldn't approve because, well, I'm not there to say no.
Stylistically, the material they expect me to learn usually
amounts to the equivalent of asking Charlie Haden to play
songs by Primus. There's never a "Louie, Louie"-type
tune that I could learn in my sleep. No, they have to
make me play outside my comfort zone. I suppose it's
ultimately "good" for me, but I can still grouse (and do!).

The primaries are happening here next week. We are
getting about eight phone calls per day from campaigns.
Isn't it great that when the politicians passed the "Do
Not Call" legislation, they exempted THEMSELVES?
Now when the phone rings, I don't say "hello". . . I
say, "Phone Harassment Central, please state your
candidate". For some reason, they don't see the humour.

I've had it up to here (you'll have to envision where)
with lying bastards who'll "cut taxes". Promised
every election, never done. The burden might shift
a bit one way or another, but it's all smoke and mirrors.
I especially like the guy who's going to "eliminate the
IRS". . . what crap. It ain't gonna happen. I find
that guy particularly offensive because his entire
campaign is a bunch of garbage people WANT to
hear that can NEVER BE.

And let's not forget Mr. 9/11. We get something in
the mail from his campaign EVERY DAY. It all
states that he's "tough on terrorism". I'm still
waiting for some honest reporter to ask him
"Why was the largest SUCCESSFUL act of
terrorism on US soil possible in YOUR city?"
I'm sure it was the OTHER party's fault, somehow.

Is my disdain showing? Damn, I haven't even gotten
started yet. What a pathetic bunch we've got to choose
from this time around (on both sides). I could go on and
on, but it's early yet.

How about those oil and gas prices? Only one more
year of uncontrolled rape and pillage, so they've
got to start putting the screws on us now. I like the
way that the price of crude goes up and the cost
of gas and heating oil rises IMMEDIATELY, even though
the companies have already paid for what they have.
BUT when the price comes down, well, that takes awhile
to show up at the pumps. The corporate line is that they
have to raise the price to buy the next batch when
the price goes up. No excuse offered for why it doesn't
work the other way. Oh, wait, maybe it's that $8 billion
annual profit. Yeah, gotta preserve that. In a perfect
world (ha!!), in "wartime", this would be considered
high treason (one could hope). If the oil companies want to
win me back, how about they donate all their 2007
profits toward the US deficit? I thought not.

In other news, the Ls finally have DSL. Our old service
provider was intentionally slowing down our connections
while trying to sell us an upgrade (they deny it, but
I am both an ex-programmer AND cynical so I know
it can be done). Instead, we moved to a different
provider. Of course, they are probably all owned
by two or three people so you don't really win.
Did I say cynical?

I have discovered that the time you save by not
waiting for slow connections is eaten up by the
time spent downloading previously unattainable
(i.e., huge) files. But, I have increased the size
of my CD collection, which, as anyone who knows
me will tell you, was absolutely necessary. D'oh.
Will need an out-building soon. Or less furniture.

What else, what else. . . I don't know. Maybe it'll
come to me later, after a few dozen more phone
calls from candidates. And with the new DSL service,
they get through even when I'm blogging.

I KNEW there was a downside.

Dec 25 2007

2007-12-25T13:13:00.000-05:00

Ho.

Winner Settles In

2007-11-15T11:21:00.000-05:00

Mrs. L wondered if the cat would accept us as its
new family [it can be a bit "L-ish" around here -
d'oh!].

All indications are, Winner is comfortable:

He has a fondness for shoulders:

Which gets a bit inconvenient, because he doesn't want to
get off. He also likes to bite, but he at least adjusts his
force depending upon the victim. All in good fun.

Yesterday, he went into the "clumping" litter and peed a
gift for Mrs. L's birthday:

. . . aw. Heart-shaped. Mrs. L is obviously his favourite, even
though she often asserts that she is "not a cat person".

HOW can you look at a heart, peed especially for you,
and NOT be moved?

Honestly!

Ani 'n' Sanjaya

2007-11-10T15:12:00.000-05:00

The family went out to a concert last night:

. . . blurry pic . . . for those who forgot their glasses, it says,
Ani Difranco. "The little folksinger". . . and maybe secretly
"The Littlest Difranco"??? That song her "family" recorded
["Heartbeat - It's a Lovebeat"] is a really bad earworm!!!

Um. . . OK, maybe that was some OTHER Difrancos.

Cameras were not allowed. But of course, as is always the
case these days, it seemed like everyone was taking pictures
with their phones. Can't wait for the "no phone" rules to be
implemented. . . no one will go to a show ever again. We "old
timers" used to go to concerts all the time without phones,
believe it or not.

Anyway, I took a picture. I had my camera. What a scoff-law!
So, in keeping with their policy, I've altered it:

Can you see Dennis Kucinich on stage, making an idiot of himself
by pretending he has rhythm? [Hint: Be glad you can't!!] Ani is
a big supporter of his - and this isn't the first time I've attended
one of her shows and had to listen to him speak. But - I never
want to see him try to shake any form of percussion (or
ANYTHING, for that matter) EVER again. . .

They tried to buy Master L's support with balloons and
stickers:

The guy's got no chance. I just hope he bows out after the
primaries and doesn't help "split the vote". . . otherwise, he
might as well be working for CheneyDubUrtonCo.

Well, it was a good show, except for the couple in the
tenth row who wouldn't sit down - fortunately just to
the outside of my sightline, but the person on my
right was not so lucky. Oh, and let's not forget the
political rhetoric and the horrible thought that
anyone in the audience seriously thinks Kucinich
stands a chance. "Imagine a government. . .", he
said, before talking about a utopian situation that
will never happen.

I think "Imagining a government" was where the trouble
all STARTED, but it's been thousands of years, so the horses
are out of the barn on that one.

Jon Stewart said it best: "Sanjaya, WHY are you still in this
competition?"

"Winner"

2007-10-29T16:44:00.000-04:00

Master L has named the cat "Winner".

I haven't done the "box-training" thing in a long time. Basically,
it's like having an infant on speed running around without a
diaper. The good thing is: when he grows up he won't
write a book about my bad parenting (after he gets out
of rehab/therapy).

Cat Day Early Evening

2007-10-29T00:27:00.000-04:00

He's orange. He bites. He claws. He mews.
He tries to pee next to the television instead
of in the litter box.
He woke me up at four in the morning to tell me some kind
of story, but unfortunately, it was in his native language.
I only understood a little. . .

The fun has just begun!

Blog Drano

2007-10-23T10:02:00.000-04:00

Some random observations that I either
forgot in previous posts or didn't fit
anywhere else!!!

One:
The other day I ran into a bunch of police officers
who were on lunch break from some kind of
training session at the college down the street.
They were all wearing little ID badges for the
session. They were also wearing identical
black t-shirts that had their city's police
department logo on the front.
BUT, one officer's shirt had extra screening on
the back:

"24-hour baby-sitting service"
"Free pickup"
"Secure facility"
"Serving assholes since 1846"

You know, I hate to be a prudish parent, but
since I have to put up with other prudish parents
-- is it "appropriate" for an officer of the law to
have that stuff on a shirt? I guess the argument
would be that he's not technically "on duty".
But I'm sure he's getting paid in some way for
being at the training, and since he's obviously
a cop and has a .45 and a taser strapped on
his belt, there is really no question who he
is representing. A fine message to send to
my kid. . . maybe it should have read,
"Self-serving assholes since 1846".

Two:
The movie "E.T." was recently shown on television,
which reminded me that when it originally came out,
I laughed like hell when they found E.T. all shriveled
up and white in the ditch. I don't know why, exactly,
but I thought it was really funny. The woman sitting
in front of me in the theatre (with her two kids)
didn't share my enthusiasm. If looks could kill. . .
oh, well. I guess I was a bad person back then.
Yeah, that's right -- back THEN.

Three:
A conversation between Mrs and Master L, just
before my band played at the Fair this year. . .

Master L: "We'll get to see the animals, and I can
go on the rides, and. . ."

Mrs. L: "And you know what? There's a really
good band playing that we should go see."

Master L: "Are they on before Dad's band, or after?"

[Familiarity breeds contempt, and, in the manner
of Homer Simpson, "Why, you little. . .!"]

Three:
Sign at a local pharmacy:

"We will not disclose personal health information to
coroners, medical examiners or funeral directors
without your permission."

Um. . . well, you won't get it from ME if I recently
needed the services of any of those people, will
you???

Four:
I may have stuck this in a post somewhere, but. . .

I saw a truck with this advertising:

Dog-Gone-It Pooper Scooper Service

"If you're not picking it up it's piling up!
Don't let it pile up, call Dog-Gone-It today!"

I wonder if they supply "escort scoopers", like planes that
refuel fighter jets in mid-air?

Go Sox - But Make It Quick

2007-10-23T09:20:00.000-04:00

The Red Sox are in the World Series (I guess Canada and the
US are "the world" by Major League Baseball's standards).

Somehow, and believe me, this is rare -- the games are
not scheduled on the same night as any gig of mine. Well,
any PAYING gig. This means there will be no last-minute
cancellation when the venue owner suddenly wakes up
on the day and thinks, "Hey, everyone is going to want to
watch the television. . . why should I pay a band? I think
I'll call them and cancel."

The only snag will be if the series goes to seven games. I
volunteered to help out at a "jam" that my brother is
running. Of course, if there's a big final game of the
baseball season on television. . . nobody is going to be there
and he ought to call and cancel me! It won't piss me off
since it's a freebie and I'd want to watch the game anyway.
Personally, I'd prefer it be over before then, but the
beer companies who advertise during the games feel
otherwise.

Whenever a team gets into the playoffs, there are
suddenly all these "fan" interviews in the streets
around the ballpark. Lots of people are camped (literally,
in tents) outside Fenway Park in Boston, waiting
for tickets for the series to go on sale.

I love it when they start up with the "appeal of the
players to the female fans" angle. You see an
endless parade of women saying "so-and-so is
SO hot!!", etc. What I want to know is, what woman
REALLY wants a guy who spits about twice a minute??
I mean. . . REALLY??? You don't think these guys
are disgusting little boys who never had to grow up?
Hmm. I don't get it. I've always wanted to get one
of those little hand-held counting devices that are
used to keep track of admission, etc., and find out
exactly how many times we have to watch grown
men spit during any given baseball broadcast.

But, I'd probably get some kind of repetitive-stress
injury in the process. So, forget it.

Mrs. L says the appeal is probably the multi-million
dollar salaries, not the guy himself. Which explains
why she picked me.

Right. Well, at least I don't spit.

Anyway. . . go Sox. . . get it over in six, please.
Thanks.

Thinking of Peeping?

2007-10-22T09:25:00.000-04:00

If you've ever had the strange idea to get in your car,
drive to New England and hold up traffic while you
look at leaves when you should be paying attention
to the road, here's a fix for you:

Fabulous. Now you can stay home!

"Gay" Penguins Under Attack!

2007-10-16T18:05:00.000-04:00

This is a story from a town dangerously close to mine:

------------------------------------------------------

"By Hiroko Sato
PEPPERELL — Author Justin Richardson didn’t make it up
when he wrote about two male penguins named Silo and Roy
that hatched an egg together and raised Tango the chick.

It actually happened at New York Central Park Zoo several
years ago. And many parents found And Tango Makes Three,
which Richardson wrote based on the episode, to be a
heartwarming book for children.

In the eyes of some others, though, the book means nothing
but pro-gay propaganda. They just want the book gone from
shelves at local libraries."

-------------------------------------------------------

You know, when it comes to being a parent, I'm usually
too busy with my son to worry about the possible
implications of penguin chick-rearing by a same-sex
"couple". UGH!!!!!!

Weekend, Oct 13

2007-10-15T19:27:00.000-04:00

On Saturday, Mrs. L and I went out on a "date" to
the Joyful Noise Coffeehouse -- or, as their stage
backdrop says, "The Goyful Noise" . . .

. . . to see Karla Bonoff . . .

. . . whom Mrs. L said she's "wanted to see for the last 30 years."

I told her to tell Karla that, but Mrs. L declined. She
thought perhaps the "30 years" wouldn't be well-received.
Not sure why . . .

Update on the Great CD Challenge: I'm about 85 into it,
and have reached the Beatles. Here are the upstairs
racks:

I will not be deterred!!

What the hell IS this???

2007-10-12T15:23:00.000-04:00

Is this a gopher? Or a groundhog?

Is there a difference??

Whatever it is, why isn't it eating the damned leaves
for me?

Camping

2007-10-08T21:22:00.000-04:00

Over the weekend, at the request of Master L, we went
camping. I haven't camped since I was four, so that
should give you an idea of my vast camping knowledge.

This was only the second time Mrs. L and I set up the
tent. Here is our humble abode:

Note the Dunkin' Donuts coffee - a sure sign that we were
"roughin' it in the great outdoors" !

A view from the tent:

Mrs. L relaxes and surveys the neighbours.

Later that night, it poured rain. And I mean POURED. And, since
we are camping novices, we hadn't correctly secured the "fly",
or tarp, that goes over the tent. Sure enough, we had some
flooding. We also learned that if you touch any part of the ceiling,
it instantly creates a pathway through the fibres for water to
come in. I felt a little better in the morning when I found out
that almost everyone around us had taken on water - even the
"veteran" campers. Later, we found a message (left during the
torrent) from my sister-in-law on the cell phone - "If
this hard rain is falling there too, don't touch the walls or the
ceiling, or the water will come right in!"

Um . . . too late. But we'll know next time.

Oh, and that's another thing. Does it seem right that
campers were hiking up the mountain while talking on
their cell phones?!? Isn't that sort of the opposite of
the idea of camping? "The Great Outdoors - now
with electronic tethers!"

So, a little flooding, a lot of aches and pains from hiking
and setting up the tent . . . still, it's good to get away from
what's going on in the world, right?

Ah, but it finds YOU. An incoming Blackhawk helicopter:

Yep, landed right in the campground. As you can see,
the natives swarmed it in case it was an enemy
combatant:

You never know - some "terrst" could have hot-wired the thing
and decided to take out the squirrels. But no. Crisis averted!

I'm not sure I'll ever be a true camper. Our stuff still hasn't
dried out - so, now at least I know why all camping gear
smells of mildew. . . the camper's aphrodisiac!

Thur-Fri Fun

2007-10-08T21:12:00.001-04:00

On Thursday night I gave Master L his second shot
at serious tinnitus. The first was a John Mayall
concert when he was very little. This time it
was a Steve Vai concert. Man, his band is
LOUD. I assume he needs a lot of stage
volume to facilitate the feedback "hotspots"
around his monitors, but . . . well, these old
ears . . .

Fortunately, I brought earplugs for both myself
and Master L - but he kept taking his out, putting
them back in, etc. I guess you can't make someone
understand tinnitus until they have it. I have it.
Leave your message at the tone . . . what's that?
You don't hear the tone? It must be in my head.

Master L declared the Steve Vai band to be "the
best concert you've taken me to see" . . . so I
expect the teen years will involve a lot of feedback and
whammy bar action.

On Friday, I had the joy of driving to a medical
appointment during the peak of morning solar
glare:

Where's the road? Are those cars in front of me?

What the hell am I doing taking pictures while
driving blindly?!?!? No worries - I'm going
to the hospital anyway! If I end up finishing
the ride in an ambulance, I won't have to
pay to park in the new parking garage.

For some reason, since the day the garage was built,
you can't get in and out of the hospital in less than an
hour, even if you're only picking up a document. Do you
think there was a board meeting about making sure
higher parking fees are collected?

Nah - I'm just paranoid!

Hey - let's ingest radioactive particles and climb
inside a huge magnet! Woo hoo!

Even better! Let's see how much the insurance
company covers!!

Wait - that's not funny.

All's "Fair"

2007-10-03T12:00:00.000-04:00

Yesterday was the annual Fair gig. It used to be a reunion of
the original lineup of the band, but injuries and other
commitments seem to have put an end to that particular
angle. So now it's just another gig on the schedule.

Mrs. and Master L practice their "pre-show mulling":

The sax player arrives, carrying all that heavy gear that
horn players have to lug around:

"We tune because we care":

The mighty bass rig stands ready to shake the foundations
of both the stage and the audience's pre-conceived notions
of "bottom":
Note the bottle of ibuprofen on the top right . . . used as both
an anti-inflammatory AND a percussion device!

Master L with duck on head:
. . . um . . . OK . . .

The "show" gets underway:

Banished to "stage Siberia" for not having to carry heavy
gear:
Oh, all right - it was only an optical illusion:

Another year at the Fair in the books. Packed up all the gear
and went with Master L to feed the hens and roosters, and
watch chicks hatch. Also, pulled the "no guilt if it comes
from someone else's plate" trick by confiscating chunks of
fried dough from Mrs. L.

I forgot to bring the hot sauce for the guitar player's sausage
sandwich (the vendor hasn't been stocking it for the last
two years). My bad. It's not like I don't have dozens of
bottles of it around, it's just that I have no short-term
memory. Huh? What??

I'll bring the sauce NEXT year!

"Getting" Golf

2007-10-03T09:34:00.000-04:00

In response to my last post about golf, Melissa said:

"I simply don't get golf. playing, watching, you name it.

I don't get it."

All I can offer is my experience.

On the day I got married, my brother-in-law said to me,
"I know you think golf is stupid. But - now that you're
'one of us', you'll see the beauty of it very soon: golf
is four to six hours away from the wife . . . no yardwork,
no 'honey-do' lists . . . just peace and quiet. Even if
you never get good at the game, it's still FOUR HOURS
away."

Mrs. L completely agreed with that concept - she bought
me a set of clubs!!!

Hey . . . wait a minute . . .

Golf, Or Something Like It

2007-10-01T20:17:00.001-04:00

I got an e-mail last week from one of my old coworkers.
It was time for the annual company golf tournament
and he needed a fourth player for his team.

I haven't worked for that company for over twelve
years. But . . . would I go play golf for FREE?
Sure, why not? Weird golf course though - this
was the first hole:

A 90-yard par 3. Not something you see every day!

The "theme" of the tournament ("golf" is usually enough for
me, but I wasn't going to argue -- it was free) was "James
Bond". It's a software company, so my team was called
"Spyware". Um. . . clever, eh?!? :) We never saw who
was on the "Octopussy" team . . .

There were "James Bond" trivia questions posted at every hole.
The team with the highest number of correct answers apparently
would win a prize. I know NOTHING about those movies.

Here's my team captain phoning in suspicious activity
to HQ:

Actually he was taking a call from his wife. But that's the real HQ.
We didn't win. But did I mention it was free???

Stories were recounted. My famous exit interview was revisited.
A fine time was had by all. Same time NEXT year?!?

This company had (and still has) a policy of "free soda". They
give it away at the office, and they had coolers all over the
golf course. I think the owner must be diabetic, such is the
obsession with soda.

On Sunday, I played my "home course" with the usual bunch
of smartass perverts. Heh. I guess you'd have to know them.
Don't all the lost golf balls in this water hazard look like
some weird kind of fungi??

. . . or maybe lots of bird poop . . .

They really were all golf balls though. Except for the 38th
one from the left -- that one IS bird poop.

You know what's funny about golf? When you play every day,
you get better. Weird. And too bad it was only those two days.
Ha . . . I'm probably back to sucking by now.

Hey, remember my CD challenge? "You have so many, you'll
never listen to them all" ?? Update: I'm a month and a half in.
I started at the "1" discs ("15.60.75 The Numbers Band") and
have moved up to the "B" discs (currently "Bantam: Suicide
Tourist"). 68 discs into it. I have a long way to go. Hey --
just like my golf game.

I just hope it wasn't our lousy play that killed Miss Moneypenny!

Location, Location, Location

2007-09-28T09:05:00.000-04:00

I love it when a venue hounds you for promo posters/pics
and then you show up and they either haven't put them
up . . . or worse . . .

Here's one of our promo posters, hung just above the toilet
paper in the mens' room. Sorry about the quality - used my
phone to capture it:

"Location, location, location!" -- at least it IS highly visible. I
hope there was a matching one in the ladies' room!

Improv and Stupidity

2007-09-27T12:30:00.000-04:00

Last night I took Master L to see a music
"event".

We went to a tiny gallery space to hear
the Akashic Ensemble. The group is
Don Preston (originally of the Mothers of
Invention, all those years ago) on piano
and Moog synth, Andre' Cholmondeley
on guitar/guitar synth/loops and Cheri
Jiosne on electronic percussion.

There were a lot of requests for Zappa
pieces because Don was in The Mothers
of Invention from about 1967-72 or so.
He honoured most of those BEFORE the
actual concert got underway . .

Master L was groovin' on the improv. He
chatted with Don after the show and Don
(who just turned 75 this week) seemed
genuinely happy that what he was doing
could "reach" a kid Master L's age. He
thanked me for bringing him to the show.
Another generation touched.

Here, Master L is discussing with Don the
finer points of differences in replacement
capacitors for the old synths, the varying
quality of manufacturers today vs. the 60s,
and voltage requirements for various sound
applications :

OK - I made that last part up.

Let's move on to the stupidity part of this post. . .

Last week the bottom part of my garage door broke
apart . . in the 'up' position. To get it closed, I had
to cut the wires and have Mrs. L push the door forward
while I pulled it down. Sure, there would only be a
fraction of a second to get my fingers out of the
space, but I could do it . . . no problem . . .

Uh, huh.

As soon as the door cleared the frame, it came
down faster than I could have believed possible.
After all, it ONLY weighs 300 pounds.
I got my fingers out, but not before getting a
serious pinch on the first, middle and ring
fingers of my right hand. I guess that's a GOOD
thing . . . if I didn't get them out faster, I would
have cut the tips off.

What an idiot! WHY didn't I just use a pry bar
to pull? STUPID!!!!!

I was able to play a gig last Friday with the
assistance of a lot of ibuprofen, but the middle
finger is still hurting today. Almost makes me
think there is a hairline fracture or something.
I can rest it until at least Monday's rehearsal
and see what happens. Gig on Tuesday either
way . . .

Buy stock in ibuprofen this week.

Lower Tolerance

2007-09-26T10:50:00.000-04:00

Sigh . . .

I usually steer away from REALLY complaining about what
"they" are doing [my mother was always telling me "that's
what THEY say" . . . except she always assumed whatever
THEY said was true. I'm talking about the other THEY].

So -- sorry, but here goes.

In this morning's Boston Globe, I read the following:

"Americans are outraged by the situation in Burma," Bush
said at the UN General Assembly. "The ruling junta remains
unyielding, yet the people's desire for freedom is unmistakable."

This is something he's especially good at doing: changing the topic
in mid-stream to hide his own agenda. The first sentence refers
to "Burma" [he means Myanmar, right?] ....the second refers to
the US, I'm sure.

This is just like the time right after 9/11 (wouldn't it be funny
if someone named their kid Ninah Levin??), when he talked
about the "lack of communication" and "inability to connect
the dots", referring to the FBI and CIA not sharing information
with each other. In the next breath, he was calling for "another
hundred thousand for FBI".....BUT....the "fbi" he was referring to
at THAT point was, "faith-based initiatives". Take a look at
this : http://www.whitehouse.gov/government/fbci/

Is that even legal??

I thought there was a constitutional separation of church and
state??? Oh, wait, "Constitution" . . . that document is
"just a piece of paper", after all. Or so said the "president".
And "president" is just a word, you know.

I caught some local right-wing talk radio the other day
(the radio comes on when I eject a CD in my car, and
have the station set on the traffic/weather station --
which becomes a talk station at night). The host
was playing clips of that day's Obama speech,
with the chorus of "The Boxer" playing under it.
"Lie lie lie . . . lie lie lie lie, lie lie lie . . ."
Pathetic. Well, I'm no Obama fan. In fact,
I'm pretty much a fan of NONE of them, on either
side of the aisle. BUT . . . "lie lie lie" ??? Why
not play it under EVERY speech from EVERY
candidate, as well as EVERY press conference
just about anywhere? I mean, come on!! If
you have to go THAT cheap at this point,
clearly your side is just as bad or worse!

What's driving my sudden need to spout off, I wonder?
Maybe it's just that I'm getting old. That's right, I'm
not going to soften it with "older". I still remember the
days when I didn't have to grunt every time I stood up.
I can remember when I could exert myself until I knew
I was getting tired, instead of finishing something and
getting a massive rush of exhaustion all at once.
I can remember when . . . well, this one requires
some background . . .

I was at my brother-in-law's house once and
my nephews' girlfriends were there. One of them
bent over to do something and exposed way too much
of herself. My brother-in-law made some comment
like "nice view". The two girls (in their early 20s)
looked at him and me, looked at each other, and
said, as one, "EWWWWW!"

I'm sure they would have just laughed if someone
their own age had said it. Well, maybe not. You
never know. But. . .

"The shine is off the apple", as my old co-worker
Joe used to say. Face it. OLD!

So -- the point is, the older I get, the lower my
tolerance for BS. And I've really had it with
being told "we're doing this" when it's actually
"doing that". But who cares what *I* think?
I'm just too selfish. I should look at the big
picture.

But I'll need to get my glasses first. I'm old,
you know.

Think happy thoughts . . . "A smile is just a frown
turned upside down. So, if you see someone
frowning, rip their head off and flip it over."

"I Didn't Kiss A Girl....Really!!"

2007-09-22T11:08:00.000-04:00

We went to see Jill Sobule play the other night.
I sang some backup vocals on one song . . . and
screwed up one of the words . . . way to go . . . and
it was recorded, so when I get a copy I'll get to
hear my gaffe over and over, in perpetuity. Heh. Sorry, Jill!

After the show, Mrs. L took this picture:

We picked up Master L at my brother's place, and when we got
home I started downloading pictures from the camera.
When this shot came up on the screen, Master L said:
"Daaaaaad . . . WHO is THAT WOMAN ? ? ?"

Apparently he is well-trained! HA!

When I told him "Mom took the picture", he said,
"Oh. OK." Off the hook . . .

Meow

2007-09-20T11:18:00.000-04:00

Looks like we'll be getting a kitten soon. Master L has
been pushing for a new pet for awhile now . . . at first
he was asking about rodents (gerbils, hamsters) but
we settled on a cat. We think he wanted a cat anyway
but was afraid to ask because they are "bigger" and
must, therefore, be a bigger parental hurdle.

My only experience with gerbils is the Lunachicks'
song "The Day Squid's Gerbil Died", but I just
have a feeling the cat will ultimately be "less"
work.

Mrs. L is a dog-person. She gave in on this one.

I haven't had a cat since we got married. The
landlord wouldn't allow pets -- but after we
moved out and his son took over our apartment,
a very large black dog moved in, because . . . the
wood floors were impervious to "family dog"
claw marks . . ? Go figure. That's OK . . I wanted to
give up my cat to live in your dump, A S S H O L E ! ! !

Feh. Anyway . . . I'm not bitter. Wonder if that guy
has died an horrific death from some kind of cancer
yet?

I hope I remember all the cat-training wisdom I
acquired over the years. Like riding a bicycle, right?
Speaking of which -- this will have to be an "indoor"
cat, because our street is way too busy for most
animals to be near the road. There IS one cat that
prowls the neighbourhood, but how it has survived
the street-crossings all this time is beyond me.
Around here, people speed up if an animal is in the
road. After all, it might turn out to be dinner.
D'oh!

No, seriously. There is a state waiting list for moose
and deer roadkill. Anything smaller than that is at
your own discretion, I guess. Less paperwork. Get
big government off our backs!!! :)

Need batteries. Need coffee. What does that have to
do with anything? Who cares . . .

Projects 'n' Whatever

2007-09-13T11:06:00.000-04:00

During the summer, someone visiting the house
commented that I have so many CDs I could never
listen to all of them. The nerve. Gauntlet
thrown, I decided on a plan. I'd start at the beginning
of the racks, and each time I would be going out to
drive I'd take the next one or two (or ten, depending
on the length of the trip). Ha! I'll show 'em.

About a month in now, and I'm only up to "Any Trouble".
Sure, there were intervening vacations, but this little
project may take a little longer than I expected.
If I'm lucky, I'll get to the "B"s sometime next week.
But I won't be deterred. Challenge me, eh??

I've already heard some discs I'd completely forgotten
about . . . so that's the upside (Tuck Andress, "Reckless
Precision"). The downside will be suffering through
some discs I should never have bought or should have
sold off (Paul Anka, "Rock Swings"?!?) . . . but a
commitment is a commitment, damn it! I'd say I've
bitten off more than I can chew, but, ears don't bite
or chew. At least not yet. Let's see what deregulation
of the food industry does to the gene pool.

The "Nowhere Else to Write It" file:
Overheard at my son's summer camp last month, while
standing between two different activity areas:

"Who can point out the butt?" . . . and then, from the
other area, "OK, guys, grab your balls!"

Thought to self: "Um . . . which camp IS this, again?!?"

And now for an installment of, "Hmm, This Is Getting
Suspicious":

Last year, right after the spring thaw, I discovered some
termites coming into the basement. Not actual "white
ant" termites (yet), but the scouting party that comes
in before and throws a wild orgy before letting everyone
else know it's cool to come inside.

So - called the termite people (or should I say, "anti-
termite people"). A guy came out and said there were
no termites and no damage inside - I must have caught
the first wave of the scouting party. We had the house
foundation treated. Enough chemicals were pumped into
the ground to kill everything for years. Except for
one thing: the company that does the treatments needs
to stay in business. They called me yesterday and
gave me a real hard-sell about getting more treatments
done this year. When I told them I wasn't interested,
they kept presenting scenarios, each one more
frightening than the last, about re-infestation.
They started throwing out dollar values on damage
(how would they know that number??). "If you don't
renew, we are not responsible!". Hey - now it sounds
like if we don't pay them, they are going to swing by
and drop off a colony outside the house. What the hell?
Is this a shakedown??? I will spray the foundation
myself and keep vigilant. The first suspicious van
I see outside my house is GOIN' DOWN !

Speaking of going down, someone who reads this
blog recently told me I'd been flagged by her
"family filter". Little ol' ME?? What did I do?
The thing is too sensitive!

Speaking of sensitive, I had to learn a bunch of
old Little Feat songs for a gig. I detect subtle
innuendo in their lyrics. But, maybe I have
an "unFamily" mind . . . or I'm too sensitive.
Yeah, that's it.

Hey, if ears can chew - I can be sensitive!

A Hair-Razing Day for Charity

2007-09-11T11:43:00.000-04:00

A little over two years ago,
Master L decided he wanted
to grow his hair out to donate for
wigs for kids who lose their hair
due to medical treatments.

[Before!]

His only haircuts since then had
been "trims" to keep the hair out
of his eyes. He ignored the teasing
from some of his peers with an attitude
that made ol' Mr. L proud.
This week, we measured and his
hair was finally over the minimum
donation length.

[After!]
He had it cut and will be sending it
to www.locksoflove.org .

Well done, Master L! We love you!!

Eaten By Whales (A work of fiction)

2007-09-09T10:09:00.000-04:00

The Ls are enjoying a day at sea . . .

When, suddenly . . .

"Dad! We've got company! Is this when we're supposed to
throw those bales of 'hay' into the water, like you said??
But where?"

Suddenly, a voice from above said . . .

"Deposit them here, My children, and they will be safe."

But alas . . .

. . . eaten by whales.

D'OH ! ! Duped again.

Family Vacation

2007-09-06T11:54:00.001-04:00

The L Family goes to Mexico (pictorial) . . .

Master L, clearly distraught during his first-ever plane trip:

The family stays incognito via high-tech 'camera strap security' :

Once Master L discovered the jacuzzi, it was almost impossible
to get him out. Milk and cookies optional . . .

Remember Monty Python's "Dead Parrot" sketch?!?

Alright, alright, it wasn't really dead, just well-trained.
It was at Xcaret:

Um . . . it's . . . an iguana, admiring some phallic symbols:

Master L standing inches from the edge of a cliff, giving Mrs. L
a good cardio workout!

Now a veteran flyer, Master L looks bored on the final flight
home - or just sick of having his picture taken:

Here's the "art" shot of the same flight:

Enough already with the pictures. Where are the stories??
Eh. . . maybe tomorrow.

Cropredy Church

2007-08-24T23:55:00.000-04:00

The tombs of a husband and wife (I've forgotten the date):

Infant mortality was more of an issue then....yikes....

Helpful Signage

2007-08-23T07:54:00.000-04:00

Before I move on (i.e., get back to complaining about
everything), here are a few of the helpful signs that
were in place around Cropredy . . .

"I'm the guy who vacuums the portapotty. . ."

This one was next to the backstage toilets:

The "Yield" signs on the UK roads say, "Give Way". But they
have the same effect because, as a foreigner, you'll stop there
for a moment to figure out what it means before you drive
through . . .

There should have been a sign at Heathrow that warned,
"Your money is worthless here", but alas, there was not.

Stopping in.....

2007-08-21T19:43:00.000-04:00

Back from the UK. I was over for the annual Fairport
Convention festival. It's held in Cropredy:

Here's a view from the field:

Here's a guy who sat next to me all day Friday:

And here's a shot of me and my friend Maart, or as I like to
call this one, "Guys who love ale too much" . . .

Three days of merriment. And the backstage portapotties
actually had toilet paper! When the Renoirs ran out, they
brought in the Monets . . . I almost felt guilty because the
people I was staying with had to use the field facilities,
which were . . . um . . . a bit less sanitary. I got over it,
though!

I had a funny experience before the festival. I was suffering
from jet lag and was at a concert in a nearby town. I found
that I couldn't sit in my seat, having been in planes for
nine hours earlier that day. So I went out into the lobby
of the hall to find coffee. The concession stand had closed,
but one of the employees said, "Well, we can certainly
find YOU a cup of coffee!"

Well . . . OK . . . who am I, exactly?

She took me out back into the employees' area,
where the manager of the hall asked me how I
took my coffee and got it for me. I took out my
wallet. He said, "You don't have to pay!"

Once again, who am I? I guess they thought I
was somebody!!

I'm home for the moment, where I'm just a
regular guy who has to get his own coffee
(unless the wife is making some!).

The Naked Truth

2007-08-06T16:36:00.001-04:00

Just returned from a weekend excursion. The band played
a gig at a nudist camp in Vermont.

And before you ask (it's ALWAYS the first question)
-- NO, the band was not required to play nude and
none of us volunteered. (I don't think the place
really had a laundry room either!)

We played there last year and they invited us back.
Next year, we play TWO nights and get to camp
there, apparently. Maybe they figure if we stay
long enough, we'll lose the clothes . . I don't know.

Probably one of the nicest crowds we ever have,
but as has been observed, "If your genitals are
exposed you tend to be more agreeable."

Stayed over Saturday with an old friend and went
out to look at rocks and trees on Sunday. This
picture was taken from the top of a dam that was
built after the "big flood" of '69. It doesn't appear
to be holding back a lot of water these days:

There IS a fierce puddle down there, though.

Spent lots of time in the car -- I've had enough of it.
So now I'm switching to planes. I'll be sick of
that a lot sooner.

And now, back to packing (again).

Let's Hear It For Infrastructure!

2007-08-02T08:43:00.000-04:00

Isn't it great that we're off building roads and bridges
in Iraq while our own bridges are collapsing?

Ah . . . priorities.

I'm sure FEMA will clean it all up in no time.
They're a competent bunch.

Master L Goes To College

2007-07-23T13:13:00.000-04:00

Dropped Master L off this morning at "Kids College".

I just wonder if Master L really qualifies as a "reserved" student.
Something tells me he's a bit more rambunctious!
And I doubt it took him the full 15 minutes to "get loose". . .

Last year, on the last day of the class, the instructors gave each
student a goldfish. Master L named his "Aurora". The fish is
still with us, so I hope they don't send another (bowl
overcrowding, you know). Then again - I guess that would be
better than a raccoon or a badger or something!

Friday the 13th

2007-07-14T10:48:00.000-04:00

Hillary Clinton was speaking at the college down the street
from our house, so went went down there to listen. This was
one of the best moments:

Bill had been standing, stage right, behind the woman doing
the introductions. While she was speaking, he walked across
the stage and took his seat on the stool behind her, without
her noticing he had moved.

When she started to introduce him, she gestured to her right
but Bill wasn't there anymore. Then, she suddenly noticed he
was right behind her. She then jumped in shock and said,
"...sneaky!"

I was sure the moment would end up on The Daily Show.
Did it??

Later, I played an "intimate" duo gig (i.e., not loud) that was
actually attended by a whole bunch of people we know (a rarity) :

I guess the only bad luck of the day was the reference in "Born
Under A Bad Sign" . . . unless you count the fact that my
partner-in-musical-crime makes me play some Springsteen
tunes at this particular place. LOL!!

Fourth in the Rain

2007-07-11T10:28:00.000-04:00

Fourth of July. This was our vantage point for the fireworks over
the Charles River. It rained off and on all day, but Master L
declared it was his "best Fourth of July ever!", so what's a little
bit (ok, a LOT) of rain??

I'm still an idiot with the digital camera, so you don't get any
fireworks pics. They weren't good. And we left the trusty old
Pentax K-1000 at home . . .

We had a picnic on the roof and the radio feed of the concert at
the Hatch Shell. Having done the Fourth at the Shell itself, I'd say
this was much better (less claustrophobic!!!). What can I say?
I'm a "people person".

Har har!

7/7/07

2007-07-07T11:18:00.000-04:00

Question:

If all these musicians who are always doing big "save the
world" concerts (the same people who've been at it
for over 20 years) are so great at bringing about positive
change......why have all of the things for which they've
"raised awareness" only gotten worse?!??

As my mother would have said, "I'm just sayin', y'know?"

Who knows? Maybe Bono is the CAUSE of all of the
problems - he always seems to be in the area!! :)

Celebrate - It's Almost Over

2007-05-25T11:46:00.000-04:00

Master L's school had their annual "Celebration of
Learning" this week. Or, as I like to call it,
"Celibate! Shun Learning" -- in honour of the
teacher, who seems to have a perpetual stick up
her ass. I can't stand the woman. If the "end tenure"
movement had a poster, she'd be on it. Gah.....it
drives me mad just thinking about her getting paid
to NOT teach my kid while she waits however many
years until her lucrative retirement package kicks in.

I know, I know: "Teachers are underpaid."

Well, the ones that actually TEACH certainly are. But
these lazy old union dinosaurs are a disgrace to the
profession.

I can't wait for Master L to be out of her class and away
from her influence. She did more damage than good.
May she rot in hell. Well....I'll stop there, because "if
you can't say anything nice", and all. And I think I
might say something negative if I keep writing.

Tonight we get to go to the local minor league baseball
game. Master L "won" tickets at school in some way
that is still unclear to me....I think it had something to
do with reading, but he wasn't big on the details. And
doesn't like to be pressed. Well, OK, we've got four
tickets to the game.....they're giving away T-shirts....
and I guess we'll be eating hot dogs for dinner.
MMM.....park hot dogs. I think it's the salmonella
that makes them taste so much better than the
one you make at home.

Well, that's it. My brain just shut off.....the end.

"Fuzzy Math"

2007-05-19T11:29:00.000-04:00

The other day, I saw a news story about gas prices.

"The public is unhappy that gas prices have risen
85% over the last five years," the "reporter" said.

Hmm....well, I can't verify their sources (but I suspect
they work at the White House). There is a picture
in one of my earlier posts that shows a local gas
station that went out of business in the spring of
2001. The price on the sign (still up there even
today) for a price of a gallon of regular gas is
$1.08.

My math skills - which I'm certain are less "creative"
than the government's or the news agencies' who
seem to be in the government's employ - tell me
that in the last SIX years gas prices have increased
178%, based on the $3 per gallon regular gas on
sale in my area today.

["Facts are funny things." -- Ronald Reagan]

"I'm sorry - the company wants us to hold the card.."

2007-05-16T11:24:00.000-04:00

Roughly twenty-five years ago, in a period I like to call
"The God-Forsaken 80s", I worked in a record store.
Yes - records. Big discs made of vinyl/plastic. When
we got in the first few CDs, no one knew what they
were, and the girls who were cashiers basically used
them as makeup mirrors since the few discs we had
were stored in the glass display case at the front of the
store. Anyway....

The store was located in Harvard Square in Cambridge
Massachusetts. Most of the customers were college
students who attended either Harvard or Radcliffe.
Many of these "kids" would come into the store,
grab dozens of items, and present a credit card
that belonged to one of their parents. I know, it
was a simpler time and all....but it was still not
really legal to use another person's credit card. I
think most stores would simply take the cards
and assume it would be alright, but I NEVER
accepted any card that didn't belong to the person
presenting it. And you wouldn't BELIEVE the way
some of these young "adults" would act! I think the
reaction was what Frank Zappa meant by "a
petulant frenzy":

Me: "I'm sorry, I can't take this. It doesn't belong
to you."

Spoiled Ivy League Legacy Student: "WHAT!? YOU
HAVE TO ACCEPT IT! IT BELONGS TO MY
FATHER!!!"

Big scene, every time. I used to enjoy it. But I never
took a card if the owner wasn't present. These people
would get all indignant, throw temper tantrums,
threaten to "report me", threaten to "have me fired",
etc. A few times, I called the card company for
approval and they asked me to hold the card.
Ah, the looks on the faces were priceless.

I remembered these kids and the way they acted
as I was watching a certain "president" get all huffy
because his "credit card" was not being accepted
without question. Oh, no! Responsibility!
Accountability! Has a "bad parent" taken away his
"freedom"????

Which also got me thinking about what's going to
happen if the "energy terrsts" loose control of the
country in the next election. Will "The Patriot Act"
stand? Or, will it be exposed for the lame fraud
it was - designed only so this administration would
have NO LAWS TO ABIDE - when in the last days
of power we hear the phrase "Mission Accomplished"
again and the Act is removed by decree so the next
president can't use it?? [well, unless he's a Republican
and a good friend of the family]

Will that prove that the "Mission" was to rule without
constitutional oversight?

I don't know who will win the next election. Frankly,
I can't stand any of the declared candidates on either
side. But, it's all we've got.

Unfortunately, most of those Ivy League kids I had
to deal with back in the GF80s are now probably just
about the right age to be running for office.

Quick, Ma, Junior's comin'. Hide the credit cards!

Questions/Answers

2007-05-09T10:22:00.000-04:00

I recently decided to allow myself to be questioned
by a fellow blogger. The fine folks, er, folk...wait, what
IS the singular tense of that word??? Never mind.
Lucky Star asked the questions.

Now, normally, I shy away from being interviewed. In fact,
if I've recently declined YOUR request, please don't be
offended. There. I knew you'd be OK. It's just that I've
been suffering from a seasonal meme allergy, you see.

Really, I thought the questions would be a bit more
personal, given the source (LOL), but that's fine.
Here's all the excitement for you:

Q: Tell us about your musical career. When did you start
playing, do you sing, what do you play, where do you play,
how do you play...uh...you get
the idea.

A: Career....now that's a funny word. Well, you didn't say
"lucrative", so I guess it's OK. I was lured into music by the
Beatles, Cream and Jimi Hendrix in the late 60s (via my
brother's record collection).

Maybe my mother saying, "A musician? So, ya

wanna be a bum, like ya brutha!?!" helped push me.

I can also recall listening to the end of the song "Long, Long,
Long" by the Beatles on the stereo in the basement of my
childhood home in late 1968 and my mother yelling down
the stairs, "He moans like that 'cuz he's on drugs, ya know!!"
Cool!!! Score another point! LOL!

[side note: the next year, I got in trouble with Mom for
blasting "Cold Turkey" at high volume. "But, Mom, it
says 'Play Loud' right on the record!!".....she wasn't having
it. Her opinion of the song? "If he doesn't like cold turkey,
why does he eat it??" .... she couldn't have been THAT
naive....could she? ]

So, anyway - it was inevitable that I would start picking up
my brother's guitar every chance I could get. He decided to
"fix" that by explaining to me that there was a glut of guitar
players in the world, but not so many bass players.....oh,
and his friend Peter just happened to have a spare bass I
could use. Ta da....I was a bass player....well, kinda.....
I don't know WHAT my excuse is today....

Over the course of my life, I also learned guitar and tinkered
with bouzouki, Chapman Stick, mandolin, charango.....if it
has strings, I'm game. Much to the chagrin of Mrs. L, who
has to put up with it.

I sing when forced. I'm much more comfortable providing
harmonies than singing lead because like any good self-loathing
artist, I'm unimpressed with my own voice. One of the bands
I'm in at the moment has decided they want me to do MORE
singing....ugh.

I'll leave the "how I play" alone.....some things are private!! ;)

Q: As a child, what was one of your favorite games?

A: Does a rocking horse count? I wore out the springs on mine.
As far as "games" games, I remember playing "Skittle Ball" for
hours on end. I think that's what it was called....it was a
"bowling" game with a wooden ball on a chain that you had to
swing around to knock over the wooden pins.

Q: What was your first concert?

A: George Harrison at Boston Garden, 1974....early show.

One of my cousins got "better" seats than the ones he
originally bought, so I got his original tickets. Problem was,
I wasn't old enough to drive yet. There was no way either
of my parents were taking me....they were in the early
stages of a long, nasty divorce. My older brother was
living in Los Angeles at the time, which was

not convenient for a Boston show. So, I called up one of my

brother's old high-school friends. This was the day before the

show I think. I asked him if he could take me to a concert....

and he responded with the non-enthusiasm you'd expect
from someone getting a call from their old friend's "kid" brother.

He was hemming and hawing. Probably trying to think of

a "nice" way out. And then I told him it was the George

Harrison show. "OF COURSE! SURE!! I'd LOVE to take

you..........you REALLY have tickets?!?"

Then he made me promise not to ask anyone else, because he

was DEFINITELY taking me....

The next afternoon he showed up at my house and asked
"to see the tickets", as if he still didn't believe I had them.
And away we went to Boston Garden. On the way there,
we heard on the radio that Ravi Shankar was not feeling well
and may not perform his opening slot. Which sucked, because
even then, I liked Indian music. A LOT!

We arrived at the Garden. There were joints being passed
down the admission line. My brother's friend didn't partake....
probably because I was there, but I wouldn't have cared nor
ratted him out - but he probably wasn't sure. But can you
imagine such a scene occurring NOW, INSIDE a venue??

Then it turned out that Ravi Shankar DID play the afternoon show,

but later bowed out of the evening show. Woo hoo!

And of course, George.....well, he was always a musical hero, so

I loved the show (though his voice was a bit hoarse on this tour).

My brother's friend even gave me a ride HOME, after he'd already

gotten into the show. How's that for being a sport?? LOL

Q: If you could make one change to restructure American politics,
what would it be?

A: No millionaires allowed. And anyone whose personal fortune
grows exponentially while in office will be executed the day after
their term expires.

It's funny that I have less to say about that than my first concert!!

Q: What is the furthest you've ever traveled from home?

A: Acapulco, but this summer I'm going to Europe,

which will win out by 800 miles or so. And hopefully, when I
return, I won't have to spend two hours in the airport
bathroom, like when I returned from Acapulco!!

Wasn't that thrilling? Aren't I an interesting interviewee??

Heh - well, it was way more interesting than the
"nothing" I've been posting recently. So, thanks go to
Lucky Star.

The Week, The Shriek

2007-05-01T08:34:00.000-04:00

Last week started off just fine. Mrs. L and I went on
a "date", out for dinner and a concert by ourselves.
As much as we love Master L, his presence does make
having a conversation difficult. He has to interject any
time there's more than a one-second gap in the discussion.
No "enjoying the space" for our boy.

We saw Jez Lowe and the Bad Pennies. As the show
progressed, Mrs. L said, "These two are married,
right?", meaning Jez Lowe and the violinist,
Kate Bramley. I said, "Yes....but how did you
know that?", and she said, "You can just tell."

Women. Signals. Everything MEANS something!
We men stand no chance whatsoever!!! LOL!

Actually, the chances that night were VERY good,
but that's a whole other story.....

Moving on.....

We took Master L to a homeschooling class to check it
out, since we're completely frustrated with the public
school he is in right now. It was a "creative writing"
class and it was pretty cool. Then we went to the
park with all the homeschoolers. Master L had a
good time and wants to do homeschooling, but
we're not sure yet.

Stuff like this helps push us, though....more actual
homework from his Useless Teacher:

"Directions: Write <, >, or = in each box to complete
the problems.

[skipping down to problem 4 ]

4. 50% [_] 6"

I kid you not - there was no OTHER information for the
problem!! Is it ME?!?! Can that problem possibly
make ANY sense as written??? By "50%", did she
think she meant the number ".5" ?? Because....it's
NOT the same thing!!!!

ARRRRRRRGGGGHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!

Our tax dollars, on break.

"We don't control the price of gas"

2007-04-24T15:41:00.000-04:00

Is it just me, or does it seem like every time the
heat gets turned up on the White House, it
becomes more difficult for us to buy gas and oil?
It's like the country gets punished with higher
fuel prices if we look into what they're doing.

So, I propose, instead of those stupid backdrops
they keep using with words like "growth", "jobs",
"prosperity" [yes, it's blatant bull and propaganda]
.....perhaps the powers that be need a slogan like

"If you turn the heat up on US, you won't be able to
turn the heat up at home!"

Hey, why not make it complete with some kind of
Rosie the Riveter-type icon? Only she can be
shivering and holding a gas can.

Pop Quiz!!!

2007-04-21T18:45:00.000-04:00

This is an actual piece of schoolwork that came home
from my son's useless teacher:

"Would you like to eat 7/8 or 3/4 of a pizza?"

Master L had circled 3/4.....

Useless Teacher indicated in red
pen that "7/8" is the correct answer.

What the fuck?!? Maybe the kid's not that hungry.
Maybe we taught him not to hoard food.
What is this teacher's message??? "Greed/gluttony
is good" ???

I....just....can't.....stand it !!!

That's Horrid! - A Return to Form?

2007-04-17T09:57:00.000-04:00

As anyone who stops by here surely knows, my output
has been spotty lately. I just wasn't "feeling it". But
there could be hope.

Yesterday, as I read about the shootings at Virginia
Tech, I IM'ed Mrs. L:

"Check this out, from the 'net:

'Today the university was struck with a tragedy that
we consider of monumental proportions,' said Charles
Steger, president of Virginia Polytechnic Institute and
State University in Blacksburg, in southwest
Virginia. 'The university is shocked and indeed horrified.'

[then I commented]

'Since we're in the middle of all this crap with our local
school, I think I know what that guy means!! 30 students
killed, at $9,887.50 per semester ($19775 per year)
comes out to $593,250 that the school loses out on. I'm
sure THAT'S what they consider the true tragedy!' "

Mrs. L responded: "That's horrid!!"

Maybe so. But, I've learned - especially this year with
Master L's school - that educators ultimately seem more
like accountants.

We already KNEW I was cynical.

Plus, this probably means I'm feeling slightly better
these days. And isn't that what really counts?

Everyone's a Critic

2007-04-06T17:08:00.000-04:00

The other day I was driving somewhere while Master L
was riding in the back seat.

I put a "cleaning" CD into the player. Periodic maintenance,
you understand. When the disc is in, it plays a constant
drone tone so you know it's in there.

BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE.........

Master L, from the back seat, asks, "Dad, is this one
of YOUR songs?"

Ah...the little wise guy....my sarcasm mode switches
on, and I answer, "Yes....what do you think of it?"

He ponders for a moment, then answers:
"Well...if you added some other notes, some words
and a beat people could dance to, it would be o.k."

A vision of Homer Simpson strangling Bart flashes
in my mind....."Why you little....."

Like I said, everyone's a critic.

"He Was Malled!"

2007-03-22T08:37:00.000-04:00

Apologies to the late, great Johnny Most for that
title pun.

Last weekend I was exposed to a mall. No, that sounds
wrong. . . I exposed myself to a mall. . . no. . . I was
forced by my employer to expose myself to a mall.
Yeah, that's it.

My part-time job required me to drive some guys to a
mall so they could shop. I tend to stay away from malls
if I can. But this time, I got the full tour.

This particular mall was one I lived near in my, um,
'formative' years. The first thing I noticed is that the
place has grown to about three times the size it was
when it was built. Inside, the thing I noticed is that
it's about 90% clothing/shoe stores. And it's mobbed!

Now, I know I'm "just a man", but HOW can a place
like that be so busy? Can people really shop for clothes
all day, every day? I find it hard to believe these places
do the amount of business that they do.
Well, it was the weekend - but still. Come on!
It just doesn't make sense to the male brain.
"Hey, Bob, let's go buy some clothes!". . . just doesn't
work.

An observation from one of the guys I brought there
(he's 63), as he scanned the mall activity: "Today's
generation sucks. The way they dress sucks. Their
music sucks. I just don't know."

On the ride home, I saw a sign outside a pet store that
read: "Puppy socialization - 1 pm - $10"

Is that really for the puppies? Or is it a dog-owner
pick-up joint with a ten dollar cover??

I think they should unleash the dogs in the mall.

F'n A, Wtf, etc.

2007-03-17T16:03:00.000-04:00

Master L's school has been fighting us tooth and nail
about EVERYTHING. It all started when we suggested
that perhaps they should give him more challenging
work. All of a sudden, he went from being fine to
having all kinds of "problems". Basically, the teacher
decided that if we were going to say anything about
HER classroom, she was going to make our, and our
son's life a living hell.

The school gave us a real "Catch-22" situation: They
couldn't verify that he is "gifted" without formal
testing. BUT - they refused to test him, because his
teacher said, "I don't see it". This same teacher said
the same thing about our friends' daughter, who has
since moved to another state and tested in the 99th
percentile on the evaluation. So much for this
teacher's "vision".

My opinion is, it's all about money. These "educators"
are so concerned about actually spending any money
on students that they are willing to sit in endless
meetings ABOUT doing it rather than just doing it.

So, now we're having him tested independently. So far,
so good. I can't wait for my next meeting with
Mrs. I-Don't-See-It, when we'll be armed with our
test results.

AND, we're thinking about homeschooling next year.
It's got to be better than what we're getting from the
school system. And probably less headache-inducing.

Speaking of which, we got 10 or 12 inches of snow here
yesterday. Heavy, wet snow. "Heart-attack snow",
as they sometimes call it here. My back is killing me.
Thanks for asking.

I still remember the day the big, tall guy across the
street (think linebacker) bought his snowblower.
I went outside and started shoveling my driveway
and he opened up his garage door and wheeled out
his new machine. He then proceeded to fart around
with it, play with the gas can, fiddle with controls,
etc., while I continued shoveling. Then he finally
got it started. By then I was mostly done shoveling
and started to put my shovel away. He stopped
the snowblower and gave me a dirty look.

And now, instead of using the snowblower, he
makes his wife and kids shovel the driveway
while he, um, supervises. Of course, three
people can shovel a driveway faster than one
person, so they finish before I do. And the
guy looks really proud of it, too!

We got a new oven this week. To get the old
one out and the new one in, we had to move
the refrigerator. Underneath, I discovered
one of my son's long-lost "Yu-Gi-Oh" cards.
The name of the card? "Premature Burial" !!

I played at a benefit for the displaced people of
Danversport. There was an explosion at a
chemical plant and a huge fire that destroyed
a lot of the surrounding area. These things can
be weird - there were 15 bands on the bill, but
the way the load-in/load-out/parking works,
if you're playing you end up seeing the act before
you and the act after, and that's it. In my case,
that was Erinn Brown, who I'd heard of but never
seen before, and Sal Baglio, who I hadn't seen in
about 20 years. They both played pretty good
sets. . . but I think I spent more time with them
in the "green room" than any of our individual
sets lasted! The whole thing was put together
by Julie Dougherty - and other than a one-song
duet sit-in she did during Sal's set, I still have
never seen her perform. Still, benefits like these
at least give you the chance to hear some bands
you never can see because you're out working
yourself. I knew a couple of the guys who were
scheduled near the end, but by then I was home.

Oh, it turned out that one of the bands that played
before I ever got there included one of my wife's
old bosses. I called her and told her, and she asked
me to get his contact info, which I did. No doubt
that made an impression on his new wife, who was
with him. Heh.

What else can I share today. . . hmm. . . well,
we're having meatloaf for dinner. Master L
hates meatloaf. Aren't you glad I shared?
And aren't you glad you don't have to listen
to his complaining??

Righting an Old "Wrong"

2007-03-06T11:43:00.000-05:00

I was once accused by a blog reader of only posting photos of my "younger self", with the
implication that I was being intentionally deceiving. All I will say is, can you post a picture of anything BUT your "younger" self?!?

Well, OK, fine. These are from last month. That's the best I can do!!!

This one apparently shows me playing a
really amusing Bb . . .

Is it "Gwen" Flavoured??

2007-02-21T10:13:00.000-05:00

The Gwen Stefani chocolate bar. I'm not sure I'll ever eat this . . .

The Family Horse

2007-02-21T09:23:00.000-05:00

About 20 years ago, I was in a pub (if you can imagine me being in such an
establishment), and there was a guy making things out of pipe cleaners. I asked
him if he could make a horse, and this was the result. Interesting that he chose to
make it "anatomically correct". . .

Winter Joke

2007-02-15T14:09:00.000-05:00

Q: Why do women like New England weather forecasters?

A: Because when they say you'll get five inches, you
actually get eleven.

D'oh! I'm just bitter about shoveling my driveway three times
in the last 24 hours. Pardon me for "working blue". . .

5 Degrees

2007-02-13T08:48:00.000-05:00

No, I'm not talking about how many acquaintances I'd have to
go through to be associated with a famous celebrity. . . I'm talking
about my hatred for winter here in the northeast!

After the traditional "howling dog awakening" at 6:03 this morning,
I decided that it "sounded" cold outside. (Is this something exclusive
to me, or does anyone else hear the temperature???)

I decided to turn on the television and find out just how bad it was
outside. Here's what I got: "5°F, 41% humidity."

Fabulous! Just great. . .

I started to think about my day - one car is in the shop getting a brake
job (but it's not ready), and the other car in the driveway needs to
have its windshield replaced today at 11 a.m., but not at the same
place. The first car is only around the corner, but the other shop is,
well. . . I don't even know yet. Somewhere near a coffee shop, I
hope!

And I can't find my gloves anywhere. I think they're in one of the
cars.

Anyway, all of these repairs are due to the fact that my birthday is
this month. That's when your car registrations renew here. So, of
course, that's when everything goes wrong with your cars! The
cracked windshield didn't happen until last week. The brakes. . .
well, they pull the wheels off your car as part of the inspection
process, so you can't skate on that. Hey, who needs brakes?
Double up on my accelerator power, I say!

So, let's see. . .where was I? At 7 a.m. I attempted to rouse Master
L from bed. His response was a casual "EH!" accompanied by a
dismissive wave of his hand. Can't say I blame him, but still.
It took another forty minutes before His Majesty arose and
commanded "Cereal!" before nestling under more blankets on
the couch.

We're off to a fine start.

Mrs. L Takes On Sarah Silverman....I Lose!

2007-02-12T14:54:00.000-05:00

The scene:
Mrs. L and I are sitting around watching television.
An ad for "The Sarah Silverman Show" comes on.

Mr. L : "Oh, yeah....I forgot to watch that the other night."

Mrs. L : "Why would you bother? We watched part of the first
one and it wasn't even funny."

Mr. L : "Well, I don't know. It's kind of like....it wasn't really
funny, but there was a weird thing - like, when she was in the
store and was drinking out of the medicine bottles to decide which
one to buy, and spitting out the bad tasting ones onto the floor.
It's not 'funny', but there's some kind of ... 'thing' about it.
I don't know. Maybe it's the same reason men grow up liking
'The Three Stooges' but women can't stand them....."

Mrs. L : "Ahhhh....the 'guy' part of your brain. I thought I'd
killed that."

Mr. L : "...nice."

6 a.m. Haiku

2007-02-02T09:18:00.000-05:00

The neighbour's dogs howl
And SHE'S not much more quiet
Muzzles all around!!!!

Memories of Mom - The Coffee Pot

2007-01-17T10:26:00.000-05:00

"Come over quick....the coffee came out good."

My mother had an old coffee maker that she claimed could
make good or bad coffee. It was one of those old stainless
steel percolators that had a two-prong cable that plugged
into the wall. Straight power - no fooling around in the old
days.

This pot created all kinds of havoc, because my mother
lived in fear of "what it might do". More than once, we'd
be driving from her apartment down to visit a friend on
Cape Cod (about 100 miles) and halfway there she would
freak out and insist she had left the coffee pot plugged in
and we would have to turn around and go back to unplug
it "or there will be a fire". I can't recall a single time that
we found it plugged in. "Sorry", she'd say, "but I can't
risk burning the place down". "Why not?", I'd ask.
"It's not like you'd be there". For some reason, she
didn't think that was funny. Go figure.

But the best part was how we would have to "come over
right away" if the coffee "came out good". I guess she
thought we wouldn't visit unless there was a better
reason than just visiting. As if we were thinking, "Oh,
no, I don't want to go there....but wait....she has coffee.
Can't get THAT anywhere else. We'd better go!"
Right.

After my mother passed away, I "inherited" the old
coffee pot. I tried to find out just how old it was -
I e-mailed the company that made it, providing them
with the model number. Their response was, "Our
records don't go back that far."

And the kicker is - we CANNOT make a bad pot of coffee
with this thing. It's impossible. Which can mean only
one thing - the "good coffee" WAS nothing but a ploy!
Couldn't she have just asked us to come over?

No. For some reason, this kind of trickery was the norm
for my mother. Everything had to be something
else. No one is quite sure why, but as soon as she
heard anything, she immediately started formulating
an alternate reality for whatever it was. Nothing
could just "be". There had to be an alternative motive.
Perhaps it had to do with who her parents were/weren't
(mentioned in a previous post) - she may have grown
up with deception as the norm and couldn't shake it.

Although she DID seem to enjoy it. She would change a
story to suit her needs and from that point on there
would be no evidence that could convince her of
anything but her own "reality". One of these days
I'll laundry-list some of the fun "facts" she worked
up. That should be a lovely stroll down Memory Lane!

Anyway - I have to go now. The coffee came out good.

Cram It!

2007-01-10T14:29:00.000-05:00

No, this is not a political rant....

I got a call to fill in for the bass player of a Meters cover
band. I have about a week and a half to learn all their
material. There will be only one rehearsal to go over
the arrangements. So for the foreseeable future, if
you're anywhere near me you'll hear the Meters
in the background.

It's not as scary as it could be - I love the Meters and
I'm familiar with most of their material....I just haven't
ever sat down to learn about 99% of it. Well, no more.
I'm stuffing my head with it even now.

The gig is at a place that claims it is a "first-class establishment"
though from the pay you wouldn't know it. Oh, well, sometimes
you've got to just do something because it's fun. Like
learn the bass parts for 30 songs in a week and a half.
No charts, no net....just go for it. Woo hoo!

Speaking of cramming it (in a different sense), I had my
home oil burner cleaned the other day. The maintenance
guy was complaining that all the warm weather here in
the northeast was "killing the business" (boo hoo, waah,
cram it, pal!!). The guy made a soot-and-oil mess of my
basement floor ("It couldn't be helped", he claimed), so
today *I* had to mop it all up. Who knew Dawn dish liquid
was so good at getting up oil? Is this the stuff they use
on Alaskan birds after the drunken tanker captains are
through with them?

What else got crammed this week? Let's see....oh yeah,
a new kitchen vent, into the side of the house.
We've only needed one for five years but this year the
birds REALLY tore the old one out of the house, so it
had to be done. I bought a style that has no
place for the little bastards to land. Take that, you
avian vandals!! "Tweet tweet", my ass.

What else is going on.....Celtics game tonight, music
photo shoot tomorrow (though I try to tell them that
my image won't help sell anything!), acoustic duo
gig on Saturday. Nothing much to cram there,
so I guess I've exhausted the topic.

Later.

Memories of Mom - Birthday

2007-01-05T11:43:00.000-05:00

Today would have been my mom's 74th birthday. Or 73rd.
Or 75th. It all depends on who/what we choose to believe.
I personally saw two different birth certificates, and
when my mom first knew she was terminally ill she offered
up yet a third birth year "for accuracy".

She was, like many in that era, born at home rather than
in a hospital - supposedly. Her parents died when she was
young - supposedly. The funny part was, any time I
ever asked what exactly they died from, the answer was
only "they were very sick". All of my "aunts" told this
same vague story, but always in an "...oh....yeah, that's
it...." kind of way.

Over the years, there were suspicions from some of my
cousins that my "Aunt" Mary was actually my mother's
birthmother. That would have explained a few things,
like: my mother and my "cousin" Bill looked like
brother and sister; my "Aunt" doted on me and my
brother more than her other "nephews"; and over
and over again, my mother would accidentally refer
to my "cousin" Bill as "your uncle Bill". Hmmm....

Well, "Aunt" Mary was more than 20 years older
than my mother. I mean, it could happen - supposedly.

It wasn't until I was in my 20s that my "Aunt" admitted
to having been previously married "to a Jewish fellow".
Something tells me this was something of an issue in the
1930s, considering my mother's family was of Irish
descent. Of course, it might have been better for me
if she hadn't decided to make the admission over dinner
with my (Jewish) girlfriend: "Oh, you're Jewish? You
know, I was once married to a Jewish fellow". Very
smooth dinner conversation. I've often wondered why
old people always seem to go there when they meet
someone - "What kind of name is that? Which religion
is that?" .....honestly, who cares? Well, OK, some
people care TOO much, I guess. I know that same
girlfriend's grandmother wasn't very fond of my
family name - "That's Italian....[and with sneering
emphasis].... Catholic". I suppose it didn't help
my case when I said, "I'm not religious". Heh.

Anyway.....

Getting off-topic. Happy Birthday, Mom, whichever
one it would have been.

Facing Toilets and Fashion Model Molars

2007-01-04T09:55:00.000-05:00

During the holidays, Mrs. L and I were both infected with the
virus that has been making the rounds in these parts. It has
the 'pleasant' effect of tethering you to the bathroom but
refuses to tell your brain which part of your body to point at
the toilet until the instant of evacuation. Sound like fun?
We had quite a week around here. Fortunately, Master L
seems to have been spared....knock wood.

This renewed my interest in designing a special "sick room"
that would have two toilets facing each other. Maybe one
BIG toilet with dual entry points, I don't know.
Sound-proofing would help buffer the lovely audio that
goes along with diarrhea and vomiting, so the unafflicted
could rest as well.....

Forget it - this is probably too expensive to set up.

Anyway, one good thing was that I remembered to rinse
thoroughly after each barf so I wouldn't end up with
"Fashion Model Molars".

And that's all I have to say about that.

Happy New Year 2007

2007-01-01T16:36:00.000-05:00

Hope yours was stylish.....

Chocolate-cappuccino Choices

2006-12-25T13:39:00.000-05:00

Life is always presenting us with choices.

Mrs. L made her traditional batches of holiday truffles
this month. Well, making them is the tradition - sometimes
there is variation in the flavour selection.

This year the featured truffles were chocolate-espresso
and white chocolate-toffee.

I forgot all about the pot-luck food event at my crappy
seasonal job, but they let me eat anyway...so I figured
I'd bring in some truffles the next day to make up for
it.

Mrs. L's chocolate-espresso truffles had people swooning.
A guy said, "I can see why you married her". One
woman, who seemed to be having a food/sex
experience, told me, "Tell her I'LL marry her."

I went home and gave Mrs. L the news. I told her,
"Well...you know....it seems like a lot of women in
our age group suddenly decide to change their
'lifestyle'...so you've got this cute Asian-American
woman interested....not a bad start."

She said....."I see where this is going. Forget it!
It ain't gonna happen."

Somehow this got turned around. What did *I*
do?! SHE made the damned truffles.

Almost Ready....well.....I don't know....

2006-11-24T14:54:00.000-05:00

I've been away. Not physically away, but mentally. I was/am
uninspired as far as writing, playing music, raking leaves,
getting out of bed, thinking, working, and....fill in the blank.

Let's see what's been happening....

My "cousin" Bill passed away, thus removing from
the planet the last living witness to the circus that was my
mother's family. Whatever secrets he had, he took with
him. We will never know "the truth". I've been toying
with writing about my interactions with my mother,
but haven't gotten around to it. Let's just say the
experience wasn't all that "normal", or should I say,
"typical". For instance, it's been long-rumoured that
my Aunt Mary was actually my grandmother. They were
all born at home and made up the details as necessary.

I don't know, maybe I'll get to it. "Memories of Mom"....it'd
be like a little Jack Handey blog series!

My son's school is giving us a lot of grief. He's completely bored
in school, because they are giving him work he could have done
three years ago. But - they paid lots of money for an "education
programme" and they don't want to deviate from it. The state
requires that every child receives a "free and appropriate"
education. Unfortunately, their strict adherence to this
"education programme" has the effect of putting kids in boxes
rather than providing an "appropriate" environment.
I'll be pointing that out at one of the many meetings I'm sure to
attend. I think their plan is to drag it out long enough that
every student levels out.

Last week I had the "pleasure", while working at the temp mental
health job, to be the target of a "brown protest". The client didn't like
how his day was going, so he came into the office and intentionally
dumped in his pants. A statement of sorts. Maybe a metaphor
for how things have been going....ha!

I have bunches of things I was planning to work on that I've done
nothing with at all. Someday I'll get to them. I hope.

I need to get stuff going, to improve my state of mind. But I can't do
it until my state of mind improves.

My Nemesis

2006-11-09T19:58:00.000-05:00

Hole #1, and the start of a good, or very bad day.
This year they were mostly bad....but at least it's
a nice place to walk around during the fall foliage
change. This picture was taken past peak, because
I kept forgetting to bring the camera.

I didn't lose the final match of the year, so someone
else has to hold onto the "headcover of shame" for
the winter.

I play golf with a bunch of guys who "don't make paint,
but make the adhesive that makes paint stick to other
things."

Please....

2006-11-07T10:55:00.000-05:00

...let the lying thieves get voted out....

We need new thieves.